Noisy, Noisy Man | Your daily dose of retard | funny website

Down the Highway - An Advice Column for Emos - 2

Dear DtH,

- xxEmoBoi78xx

Dear xxEmoBoi78xx,

You make me proud. Just keep on hating yourself, the world, and all other crap out there. If you work hard enough, they’ll pity you, I’m sure. What they’ll do with a loser like you I’m not sure. But I’m sure that you’ll get a mighty fine scar on your wrists that’ll scream “NUTCASE”. That’s gonna be a fine trophy to carry for the rest of your life.
More »

Down the Highway: An Advice Column for Emos

Dear DtH:

Me and my girlfriend of two weeks have fallen apart. She’s seeing somebody else now. And I’m stuck here in my room, bawling my eyes out. Whatever shall I do?

- Lost Soul

Dear Lost Soul:

I suggest that you go back to your room and bawl some more. Then you can write poetry. Make sure that all your poems have the words "painful" , "sad", "lost", and other synonyms on them. Then you can form a band with your friends who are just as miserable as you. Make sure your guitarists know only three chords. You can get an awesome drummer, but you have to waste his talents by giving him songs with no variations at all. You guys can turn your poems into songs. Then you guys will become rich and famous, get drunk and stoned every night and all that stuff.

But you still don’t have a girlfriend. And you NEVER will.

Loser.

More »