*** originally posted at: http://darkspear.livejournal.com/
I guess we all have our pet peeves. Sometimes, we just find something really annoying that other people don’t notice. Well, since I am only human, I can admit that I have my share of pet peeves. I assure you guys, I wrote this blog without anyone in mind. I don’t even think anyone on my friend list write in ways I find annoying. I don’t have friends who are annoying in SMS, chat, or in real life. Nobody. But, once in a while, I DO stumble upon blogs that ARE annoying. Anyway, I am just ranting. Don’t take ANYTHING here seriously. The next portion is meant to be humorous. So just laugh along. So, dear reader, if ever natamaan ka, just laugh it off… We all do these stuff you’re gonna read about. And I wasn’t thinking of you. Honest.
WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR PROBLEM?! WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCREAMING AT ME?!?!?! FOR GOODNESS SAKES, THERE IS THIS KEY CALLED “CAPS LOCK” ON YOUR KEYBOARD! USE IT!
ds mutl8d 4m f nglsh s so anoing… i cnt ndrstnd wt d hck s d point w/ txt-style spelng n d intrnt! its nt SMS, it’s a BLOG, so y cnsrv space?!
dOn’T yOu fInD iT aNnOyInG, eXtReMeLy aNnOyInG… wHeN PeOpLe pOsT LoNg bLoG eNtRiEs iN sTiCkY CaPs?ü iT’s aS iF sTaRiNg aT a cOmPuTeR sCrEeN iSn’T sTrEnOuS eNoUgH aLrEaDy! nOw I hAvE tO sTrAiN mY PoOr eYeS mOrE sO I cAn jUsT rEaD tHaT dArN sTiCkY cApPeD bLoG!üüü
Don’t get me wrong… sticky caps isn’t that bad, just use it correctly: don’t use it to post extremely long blog entries!
This is, like, soooo nakakainis. If somebody blogs this way, he/she should, like, be put in a room with other surferdude users. And their baseball caps should, like, be put on the right way to, like, add to the agony of, like, hearing “like” for like the nth time. Dude! Won’t it be, like, sweet?
For them FAUX Coñotica users: ei!ü won’t it be, like, better, if you guys, like, blogged in straight English? I doesn’t matter if your grammar is, like, arrrgh, horrible, at least you won’t sound, like, pretentious. If you don’t wanna speak in straight English, there is, like, nothing to, like, lose in using Tagalog.
For them native speakers of Coñotica: I’m making patawad of you for making gamit of Coñotica.
Combination of FAUX Coñotica, Sticky Caps, and txt:
r ü, LyK, TrYiNg 2 b, LyK, MaKiNg pA-cUtE!?ü kC, iTs nT wOrkNg… wT uR dOiNg s CuTe n cHaT, SMS, n EmAiLs, bT iTs LyK sO pAnGeT n bLoGs!
If you do this in SMS… fine with me. Got no problem with that. Those things are MEANT to be cute anyway. But do you really want your BLOG to look and read like a Text Message?
Ok… So I have probably successfully dissed off half of my blog readers.
I’ll be updating this article one of these days. So just keep on coming back here.
*This may seem like a rip-off of The Man Blog’s Nobleman’s Guide to Blogging, but this is actually part two of a series I started waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in January 2005 in my old blog (Yes, I know, what a way to run a series, give it a one-year gap, yadda-yadda…). You can see Part One here.
I have complained incessantly about blogs (and bloggers) being less than intelligent. Even my brother does too. I have once fallen victim to those godawful blogger traps (some of which I will discuss later) that made me cringe in agony when I read my archives. I was under the impression that my articles today pale in contrast to my old blog entries. Except for a gem or two, all my old entries (2003-2004 era) are crap. I shudder at the thought of the pain I have inflicted at my old readers. No wonder few came back. To save yourselves from the derision of the blogging community, I will now post more Blog Mannerisms I Hate. Enjoy.
Blinkies – this one I cannot comprehend. What the hell is cool with blinkies and why the hell are you plastering it all over your blog?! It distracts readers from the content. Visitors won’t go "OOOOOOOOH! A BLINKIE! THIS BLOGGER MUST BE UBER-INTELLIGENT!!!" (I hate "Uber" too, but that’s another rant). A normal person will actually go: "OMGWTFBBQ! I am blinded by the barrage of orange, green, pink, yellow, orange, green, pink, yellow…" and they will proceed to press Alt+F4. By the way, I react by vowing to never visit that
crap blog again.
Super-Personal Blog Entries that will alienate any new readers. If you have to post something that will alienate people, you better put some context in it. Give me a background story, links to a related article, anything! Don’t make me guess! And oh, since you put in your entire name, address, cellphone number, and Yahoo! ID in the "About Me" portion, expect a call from your ex-boyfriend (and his fraternity) who you so maliciously slandered (in gory detail) in 50% of your entries.
AAAARGH! SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDEBAR! Ever seen a sidebar that was so long that it took forever to load? I’m sure you have. It was so full of buttons, BLINKIES, and other crap. Keep your sidebar to a minimum. You want your visitors to focus on the content, right?
Snarkiness – what is a Snark? According to the Encyclopedia Dramatica, it is the "act of being totally way harsh to someone on the Internet". Don’t be snarky. Please show some intelligence. Putting a *censored* swear *censored* word in between every other *censored* word is NOT awesome. Contrary to popular belief, snarkiness is NOT wit.
Teenage Angst – Hate the world? NEWS FLASH: Nobody cares. Get a real diary (Remeber those antiques?).
Background Music – most blogs fall victim to this awful trap. I don’t want my browser freezing because of your pirated mp3 that will take ages to download!
I hope you all read this and make sure that you stop blogging so awfully.
Got more pet peeves? Tell me what they are!