Noisy, Noisy Man | Your daily dose of retard | funny website

In This Entry Ade Runs Out Of Things To Write

Hai gais. My name’s David Hasselhoff. I’m here to inform you that much to my regret, Ade has been taken over by a nasty case of writer’s block and has problems updating his blog.

So he asked me to fill in for him. Oh joy! You and I will be spending quality time together!

I mean, think of the possibilities. We can talk about Baywatch, Knight Rider, swimming trunks, and banana guards.

Hi my name is Steven Seagal and just like David here I’ve been asked- GOOD LORD MAN DID YOU JUST SAY BANANA GUARDS?

More »

Tags: banana guard, david hasselhoff, nipples, retardicity, samuel l jackson, steven seagal, writer's block

The Dark Knight

There’s this thing about raised expectations. I remember when I spent a year anticipating Spider-Man 3, following every single bit of news about it. My expectations were raised to an all-time high when watched it. Then I got Peter Parker dancing in the streets. Boo.

Which brings us to The Dark Knight. I’ve been so stoked by Batman Begins that I was looking for a sequel already the moment I saw it. So imagine me expecting a movie for three years. The goddamn expectations alone are giving me a nosebleed.

Basically, I was expecting too much of The Dark Knight that I was afraid that it was going to suck. More »

Tags: batman, cinema, movie, review, spider-man 3, the dark knight

New Relationships, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

Tell me if you haven’t felt this when starting a new relationship after a series of failed ones: your past failures, whether real or imagined, will always come back to haunt you. Granted, the new girlfriend will most definitely be not be like my exes (Psychotic stalker-ish otaku ex? Psuedo-fashionista with absolutely no fashion sense at all and with an IQ of a turnip? Come on), but still, everyone comes from a string of failed relationships, and we all can’t help but blame ourselves from time to time.

Lemme ask you guys, who here hasn’t been through a shitty relationship before? We all get the urge to start a new one, but in the back of our head, we’d all have fears and insecurities every now and then. More »

Tags: dating, emo, ex-girlfriends, flowers, new relationships, relationships

WordCamp Philippines 2008? It Will Suck.

So let me get this straight. WordCamp Philippines? September 6, 2008? In College of St. Benilde? Pffft. This’ll be a big pile of fail. I mean PHAIL.

 
Come on, why would I be excited that Wordpress rockstar Matt Mullenweg himself is coming? Or that i.PH, the single most awesomest free blogging platform in the history of awesome blogging platforms is sponsoring? Should I even care that my friends Ria, Andrew and Blogie (who are part of Mindanao Bloggers) are organizing it?

Frankly, I couldn’t care less. More »

Tags: andrew, apathy, baddie, blogie, confetti, dinosaur, DLS-CSB, event, fairy wings, helga, i.ph, lauren, lingere, manila, matt mullenweg, mike, ninja, pau, philippines, pirate, ria jose, steel, wordcamp, wordpress

My Wallet Sort of Hates Me Right Now

Let me open this blog entry by posting a message to the oil conglomerates and those who constantly raise prices of basic commodities like Mini Stop Kariman and those things I buy off street urchins (I don’t know what those things are, but I tend to float three feet off the ground whenever I sniff that stuff):

Now that rant’s safely out of the way, let me tell you what’s been bothering me lately. You see, it seems that every single thing has been becoming too expensive, too fast. Just the other day, bus fare jumped up a whopping three pesos. Okay, that didn’t sound too much, but for miserly old me, it’s a fortune. More »

Tags: commute, money, ortigas, plurk, problems, saving up, wallet

A Generation Gap, I Has It.

Maybe it’s just me, but is the decade I grew in really that far off? I know I get bummed off a bit when I see the music videos I like being played on VH1 or the songs I used to listen to being played on Retro Wednesdays or something. It kind of gives me affirmation that I’m some old geezer because you know, the kids are listening to awfully cool music nowadays and that I’m stuck listening to old geezer stuff. While telling the kids to turn down that damn noise they call music. While I wave my cane wildly around. You call that music? Why in my day, we had to play with instruments. Blindfolded! And our pants’ waistlines were raised all the way up to our armpits. The wedgies were horrible, but damn, we looked snappy. More »

Tags: buddy zabala, cheese, eraserheads, old, old man, paranoia, quarterlife crisis, retardicity, sexy

Buhay Coke ng Bloggers at SM Hypermart

So I arrived at Mall of Asia with The Mordo and Helga, incredibly late for the Buhay Coke ng Bloggers event at Taste Asia. I was particularly excited because the last two blogging events I attended at Taste Asia involved a lot of unlimited alchohol and food and nobody in his right mind would turn down such an offer.

Despite me wanting to soclialize and all, the memory of that girl who threatened to rip my “right testicle off and throw it into the bowels of Manila Bay” back from the first Taste Asia event daunted me. So I just hung out at the TMB and i.PH table with Mike, Bim, Fritz, Lauren, Liz, Marco, Ozy, Tahn, Cai, Wits, Mica, Yel, Madz, Uretz, Ting, Rico, Jayvee, Phoebe, and Kris.

Also, the TMB table was probably the noisiest of it all, owing to the fact that Bim and Mike were fighting over the affections of any random girl who passes by:

BIM: “Hey there little girl, if you were stuck in a desert island with me, Mike, and a goat, who would you choose?”

The goat won the tally by an impressive lead. More »

Tags: blogging events, buhay coke, coke, drunk, events, i.ph, people, retardicity, taste asia, The Man Blog