After three long, excruciating months, Doctor Who is finally back, giving us the brand of time bending and mind blowing stories that we’ve always loved. And what better way to come back from a hiatus than to give us an episode called Let’s Kill Hitler? For months, people have speculated over the meaning of the title – did the Doctor accidentally save Hitler’s life that he must kill the Führer? Is it going to be a deep, dark moral struggle of an episode where the Doctor makes an excruciating choice? Actually, no. These aren’t the RTD years, silly. This is Steven Moffat writing, and he doesn’t care at all about that silly moral conundrum stuff.
Spoilers on ahead.
The thing about Hitler is that he’s one of history’s biggest monsters that dedicating an entire episode to him be too dark and Doctor Who is a children’s show – it can’t get that dark. So I was really glad that Hitler was just a red herring (sorry, can’t resist) thrown in to keep the fans talking, and then dealt with in the quickest fashion: Rory punches Hitler, and then he gets to say a line only the best actors have dreamed of saying – “SHUT UP, HITLER!” – and then the TARDIS crew lock him up in a cupboard, to be forgotten for the rest of the episode. The total absurdity of it all had me in stitches.
In reality, Let’s Kill Hitler is about Mels, the annoying childhood friend of Amy and Rory who’s more obsessed with the Doctor than Amy ever was. She then gets shot (by Hitler, no less) and regenerates into River Song, Amy’s half-Time Lady daughter who is older than her mother at this point. Yeah, it actually works out better on TV than me saying it. Honestly, I’m not a River Song fan, and seeing this season revolve around the character is frustrating, to say the least.
So we see River at a very early stage in her life, where the Silence brainwashed her to kill the Doctor. And she does try to murder him, leading to one of the best sequences in the episode, culminating in River threatening the good Doctor with a banana. Then she kisses the Doctor with poison lipstick. Meanwhile, there is a robot judgment death machine after River, because she is the greatest war criminal in the universe – guilty of killing the Doctor way back in episode 1. It’s up to Rory and Amy to save their daughter, because the Doctor is busy dying. Whew.
- The sequence where psychopath River and Doctor try to outwit each other. It was a great callback to Moffat’s Curse of Fatal Death, and should shut up the people who complain that 11 is stupid.
- Rory punching Hitler. Come on, that was badass.
- “I was on my way to this gay Gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled when I suddenly thought, ‘Gosh, the Third Reich’s a bit rubbish. I think I’ll kill the Führer’” – as much as I dislike River Song, this line is gold.
- “I’m not gay” – Rory “I will punch Hitler when I grow up” Williams
- The bit where Rose, Martha and Donna show up in the hologram, and the Doctor’s reaction when he saw them. Yes, Doctor, be guilty, you fucked those lives up so bad.
- “Fish fingers and custard”
- The Doctor’s new coat is badass.
- The robot judgment death machine run by little people.
- “You will feel a tingling sensation, and then death.”
- Amy Pond has never been cuter this season than in this episode.
- Doctor leaving the diary that will eventually be filled with spoilers on River’s bedside.
Again, I don’t really like this focus on River, but this has been a fun romp, and I missed Doctor Who so much that I’m willing to give this a pass. Let’s Kill Hitler was an excellent mid-season premiere, and even though it’s not my favorite episode, this makes me excited for the rest of the season.
I give this episode 4 out of 5 Rory punching Hitler gifs.
What do you think of Let’s Kill Hitler? Tell me about it in the comments!