Noisy, Noisy Man

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Before we go on to the review, I’m running this little contest. The details are at the very end of this blog entry. So read on!

I don’t know about you, but I’m a big TMNT fan. Well, not big enough to make me collect the comics and have Turtle-themed pillowcases to sleep on every night (that honor is reserved solely for Batman), but you get my drift. I did, however, wear TMNT sneakers (it’s green, with the soles pattered after their shells and it’s got a freaking pump!) and I ate that cereal that turned the milk green. Yes, I thought it was a good idea back then.

Anyway, what I really mean to say is I saw the much-awaited made-for-DVD movie, Turtles Forever. And I fucking loved it.

I have to warn you though: I’ll be putting in spoilers at this point. Read the rest of this entry »

Last night found me outside my house, sitting in a lounge chair in my balcony, sipping margaritas with my harem of hot and willing women in bikinis, waiting for a single meteorite from the Leonid Meteor Shower to show up ["But Ade, you don't have a balcony in real life, much less-" "Shut up, Journalistic Integrity, I'm trying to write something truthful here, damn you"]. You see, in my smog-riddled part of the metro, looking up will not only ensure bird poop landing straight in your eyes (what can I say, the birds here are assholes) but it gives you nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Kinda like this

Which kinda sucked, because it took me some time to bring out this lounge chair and pay these women to stand in my imaginary balcony. But sitting here will yield me nothing, except bird shit in my left eye. Maybe I need a pair of binoculars. Read the rest of this entry »

WARNING: Crappy entry ahead. What. I have a migraine.

So I was going to sit down and write another installment of Down the Highway, but this stupid headache won’t let me. It’s like two rock creatures were fucking with abandon in my head.

Okay, maybe that analogy may be a little too much. I guess the story of my migraine started off with a pebble. Let’s call the pebble Frank. So Frank was sitting on the ground one sunny morning. It was just there, minding his own business, being cute and pebble-like. Well that was until this truck rolled in and crushed the stupid pebble.

Frank’s family was devastated when they learned of his untimely demise

The truck’s doors opened and out stepped this dude named Frankie (ah, yes, a migraine really gets me creative with names) who was then hit by a rolling boulder that came out of nowhere. I dunno where it came from, there were no mountains nearby to cause landslides. Just fucking chalk it up to Deus Ex Machina or something, ok? Read the rest of this entry »

Before anything else, let me post a YouTube video of that cursed song. Please feel free to play it over and over again as you read my blog entry so you can get into my state of mind as I wrote this.

Back when I was a kid, hearing Christmas songs weeks before Christmas gave me a feeling of excitement and wonder. Heck it made me think of peace and goodwill and everything Christmassy. Also it means getting a shitload of gifts and I’d probably get the Ecto-1 I’ve always dreamed of. So I used to run around singing all the carols I hear, slowly driving everyone around me to madness because of my slightly (ok, not slightly… it’s more like majorly) off-tune singing screeching.

Ah, how times have changed. Read the rest of this entry »