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Dear dude who was fingering his girlfriend on the MRT,

First off, I applaud you. It takes much effort to doodle the noodle in public. Really. I mean, with all the people around seeing you excavate the Tunnel of Love, it takes guts. You’ve got balls of steel to solder on while people turn away in disgust.

You see, I was beside you today while waiting for the train. You, me, your girlfriend, and a huge crowd. I kinda knew you were double-clicking her mouse because she was squirming all over the damn place. Hiding her crotch with her big-ass bag was a nice touch, though. It really made the scene more obvious, but still, nice touch.

No, I wasn’t talking about your touch. Ass.

So finally, the train entered the station (hyuk, hyuk, I made a funneh) and I tried to get away as far from you two as possible. Goddammit, why the hell did you two decide to get a seat in front of me where I can see you two flip the light switch repeatedly? And OF COURSE you had to stop digging in so you two can put on shades. Yeah, like that’ll hide your identity. Very subtle, really. (more…)

MOSCOW – Apparently, them Russians have had enough of their kids dressing weirdly. Fed up with their children’s black-dressing and bad hair ways, the Russian government is passing a law that will effectively ban emo hairstyles and emo dress styles in schools and government buildings.

A behind-the-scenes look at the legislative process.

The laws are being crafted to curb dangerous self-destructive activities associated with emo.

The Guardian describes emos as “12-16 year-olds with black and pink clothing, studded belts, painted fingernails, ear and eyebrow piercings, and black hair with fringes that ‘cover half the face’. Emo culture’s ‘negative ideology’ may encourage depression, social withdrawal and even suicide, the bill alleges – with young girls being particularly vulnerable.” (more…)

That swine flu thing has finally reached our shores, and the number of infected people are escalating. So, what’s most logical thing to do? Panic. Yes, that’s what we’re doing now.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not downplaying the effects of swine flu. It’s dangerous and all, but seeing people around me panic is just not doing anyone good. Because I tend to freak out too; and whenever I freak out I curl into a fetal position and suck my thumb. Want to know how jumpy people are? Everytime somebody coughs in the elevator, I could literally see everyone’s head turning towards the poor guy, with MURDER written on their faces. I’m pretty sure if somebody initiated a punch, everyone would be involved within five seconds. The poor sap won’t reach the ground floor alive.

There’s a palpable tension in the air that was never there before. Everyone’s so uneasy, similar to the feeling of watching another Hayden Kho sex scandal video, but instead of Katrina Halili, he’s boning Dionisia Pacquiao this time. (more…)

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