Archive | May, 2009

100 Songs. For Great Victory.

28 May

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So Baddie wrote this pretty awesome blog entry about a hundred songs to save your life. Also, The Jew tagged me.

Now these are the songs I want to raise my future children (henceforth known as Genetic Experiments numbers 1-16) with. Now, people, don’t you judge me if you find something you don’t like in this list, lest I’ll dig up that Ricky Martin album you’ve hidden somewhere.

(more…)

My Songwriting Skills Need Work

25 May

Every weekend, my bandmates and I meet up in one of those coffee shops scattered in the metro. Aside from playing Gino Padilla’s “Closer You And I” ad nauseam, we also try to write songs.

My bandmates, in my opinion, are badass songwriters. They can take one mundane situation like “I was about to cross the road when this jeepney stops in front of me and wouldn’t let me pass; the driver parked there for a good two minutes, blocking my way, until he realized that I wasn’t going to ride his stupid jeepney” into a pretty tight song:

(Don’t mind the stupid-looking bassist, k?) (more…)

AdeFAIL: Watching Star Trek

19 May

This entry is part 3 of 4 in the series AdeFAIL

So after a week of (unsuccessfully) avoiding spoilers, I finally decided to finally go and watch the latest Star Trek movie. So the girlfriend was unavailable and I had nobody else to watch it with, which is why I went to the cinema alone. I tell you, it can get pretty awkward. I went, all alone, to a movie which is notorious to have a massive fanbase composed of reputed virgins.

Typical Trekkie
“Hi, I’m here to talk to you about my penis.”

Also, have I ever mentioned that crowds scare the shit out of me? Yeah, I hate it when crowds become all crowd-like and become composed of lots of people. I get uneasy and and shiver and cringe. Ok, not really, but I still hate crowds. So to prevent people from thinking that I’m some loser who goes off reading Star Trek wikis in between the Picard/Kirk erotic fanfic, I decided to act nonchalant.

In fact, if somebody was to talk to me about how awesome the film was, I was planning to answer “You mean this is a space adventure film? I thought it was going to be filled with weird human-alien tentacle sex! Just the way me and my… harem of hot girls like it!” (more…)

Caption Contest: The Star Trek-Star Wars… war.

11 May

So guys, this is one of those rare moments when I decide to spare you my unfunniness and I let you guys write my blog entry for me. So I’m going to post here a random picture which I have no idea what to do about, and I’ll let you guys make up captions for this.

Actually, I’m just suffering from a bad case of writer’s block, and I haven’t seen Star Trek yet, and I’m just as excited about it as that Klingon-speaking pimply-faced overweight virgin who lives down the street.

So here’s the pic:

Star Trek vs. Star Wars

Again, the winner will get a million points, Health +65, LVL +2,and Spock’s katra.

So, post your captions here and I’ll get back to you after I watch Star Trek, yo.

How to tell if your neighbors are zombies

5 May

This is a question nobody takes seriously: are your neighbors zombies? For all you know, you could be in the middle of a party, drinking your 7th beer while people are getting crazy on the karaoke, then you pass out. Five hours later, you wake up with your brains missing. Dang! One of your neighbors are zombies, and you don’t know who it is! See why you need to know who the humans and who the zombies are before it’s too late?

Check out these warning signs so you can differentiate between the living and the undead. The last thing we want is an unexpected brain salad. Your brains.

If your neighbors tend to walk around the neighborhood muttering “Brains” under their breath, they might be zombies.

You might think the thin guy next door is just taking his nightly leisure walk like he always does (midnight on the dot), but he’s just hunting for flesh to eat. Have you seen Mrs. Wilson’s dog after that one time thin guy took it on a midnight stroll? Thought so! (more…)

Notes on the Pacquiao – Hatton fight.

3 May

So, tomorrow would be the much-anticipated boxing event, the bout between Manny Pacquiao and Ricky Hatton. The fight is also named “The Battle of East and West,” and is therefore considered to have the worst name in the history of boxing, you know?


Also, they totally got the name of the fight wrong here.

I’m pretty sure the streets will again be practically abandoned and crime rates will fall to zero as people will crowd in front of their television sets and root for Pacquiao by screaming “SIGE MANNY SUNTUKIN MO PA! PAKSHET GALENG MO MANNY, PATAYIN MO NA PUTANG INA YAN SIGA SUNTOK PA TANGINANG YAN!” and after he wins, 90% of Filipinos would engage in some weird mass orgasm, run through the streets in ecstasy and celebrate the triumph and perseverance of the Filipino Spirit. (more…)