Adulthood is Overrated. I Want My Money Back. (Obligatory Birthday Post)

23 Apr

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Today, I’m 26. I’m seriously beginning to dread this one number added to my age every year, and for good reason. I’m now entering this stage in life that people lovingly refer to as “late 20’s.” I hate that. It’s like I should look at these other 20 year-olds and be this guy who’s pensive and shit and guide everyone through this hazardous wasteland called “the 20’s.” No, seriously. I can imagine myself smoking a pipe as I dispense advice to confused twenty-somethings about life, love, taxes, and the dangers of smoking.

BirthdayBut here’s the kicker: I am in no position to give advice to anybody. I should be happy, successful, and all that shit by this time, but as you can see, I log on to my interweblog thing every week to post dick jokes, which you people devour with such ferocity I sometimes wonder if anyone of you guys will devour my actual, physical dick with the same fervor. (to be perfectly clear, I was talking to my female readers. The hot ones who’d willingly get into bed with me without the aid of date rape drugs.)

Bah. This isn’t really the easiest thing to deal with, if you ask me. You know the feeling when you wake up, you realize that you’ve fucked up majorly and there’s probably no way to fix your life? Yeaaah, that’s the feeling I get every morning. Really not the happiest thing, if you ask me.

The strange thing about adulthood is that it’s when all these real-world problems come crashing on you. And in most cases, you’re not ready to deal with them, and nobody’s there to bail you out. It’s so fucking overrated. I oughta find the guy who told me that adulthood is probably the most awesome thing that’ll happen to me, second only to growing pubic hair (that also didn’t turn out too well, by the way).

I honestly hope I get out of this funk soon. In fact, I wrote this weeks in advance so I can see if this particular quarter-life crisis lasts until my birthday. I’m probably in some beach right now, drinking the blues away; until my liver just goes up to me and says “Fuck you Ade and fuck your melancholy. Stop making me work overtime, you cunt, I’m quitting.” Or maybe I’ll simply drown. I dunno. But whatever happens, there’s always the certainty of dick jokes ending up in anything I write for this blog of mine.


Also, blinkies

In the meantime, I’m going off, reflecting on the stupidity of life and all.

Also, happy birthday to me.

—————————–

Posts of birthdays past:

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53 Responses to “Adulthood is Overrated. I Want My Money Back. (Obligatory Birthday Post)”

  1. DeanTastic! 23. Apr, 2009 at 1:52 pm #

    Age is just a number they use to mess with your head, and life’s not permanent—it isn’t meant to be taken seriously. Keep kicking ass, and happy birthday to you, Ade!

    Reply
    • Ade 26. Apr, 2009 at 2:36 am #

      You’re right! Life’s a dick. It fucks us all.

      Reply
  2. jepoy 23. Apr, 2009 at 1:53 pm #

    Happy Birthday, hope you share some money from your “band payola” :~)

    Reply
    • Ade 26. Apr, 2009 at 2:39 am #

      Thanks!

      Reply
  3. RJ 23. Apr, 2009 at 1:55 pm #

    WHAT WAS THAT? SPEAK UP SONNY-JIM!

    Reply
    • Ade 26. Apr, 2009 at 2:38 am #

      DAMN KIDS! GET OFFA MY LAWN!

      Reply
  4. NIghtdreamer 23. Apr, 2009 at 2:02 pm #

    You want we should lock you up in a chamber and blow up your cells until you rematerialize as Dr. Manhattan and, thus, you’d never care about your age again?

    Happy birthday, Ade.

    Reply
    • Ade 26. Apr, 2009 at 2:38 am #

      It isn’t about the age, really. It’s about being totally helpless as life passes by too quickly.

      Reply
  5. Micamyx 23. Apr, 2009 at 2:03 pm #

    Happy Birthday Charice Lover! LOL

    Reply
    • Ade 26. Apr, 2009 at 2:39 am #

      bAsTa, oKeH sYa kAySa kAy sArAh!

      Reply
  6. Abbie 23. Apr, 2009 at 2:07 pm #

    Happy Happy Happy Birthday, Ade! :)

    Reply
    • Ade 26. Apr, 2009 at 2:39 am #

      Thank you so much, Abbie!

      Reply
  7. cars 23. Apr, 2009 at 2:49 pm #

    Hahaha! Happy birthday, Ade. :D

    Reply
    • Ade 26. Apr, 2009 at 2:40 am #

      Belated happy birthday too, Cars! *w00t*

      Reply
  8. J 23. Apr, 2009 at 3:12 pm #

    happy birthday may your dick grow ever so larger *checks own dick*

    Reply
    • Ade 26. Apr, 2009 at 2:40 am #

      *shifty eyes*

      Reply
  9. Jewel 23. Apr, 2009 at 3:28 pm #

    You’re not fucked up. The 26 years that have passed weren’t a waste, I’m sure. :)
    LOL. As soon as one gets past 20, it seems that EMO is the only way to be when it’s birthday season, huh?

    I hope you get over this emo funk soon and have a really happy birthday. :) *hugs*

    Reply
    • Ade 26. Apr, 2009 at 2:36 am #

      Apparently, you’re the only one here who actually went through my entry. Thanks!

      Reply
  10. Joel Avatari 23. Apr, 2009 at 4:05 pm #

    dude, compared to me, you’re young! so shut your face!

    Also, happy birthday bro!

    Reply
    • Ade 26. Apr, 2009 at 2:40 am #

      But I’ll be as old as you are someday!11

      Reply
  11. Will 23. Apr, 2009 at 4:41 pm #

    Whenever you think you’re too old and it gets you down, always remember this: I’m still older than you.

    Haba berdie…errr…Happy birthday, Ade.

    Reply
    • Ade 26. Apr, 2009 at 2:40 am #

      Thanks, Will!

      Reply
  12. Joni 23. Apr, 2009 at 5:54 pm #

    Ade, pwede ka na magpakasal, hehe.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    Reply
  13. Jorge 23. Apr, 2009 at 6:38 pm #

    Have a beer day, Ade! Don’t worry I have predicted that there will be a zombie apocalypse in 2010, we’ll never reach that geriatric stage called senility. Let’s all continue with our hedonistic existence.

    Reply
    • Ade 26. Apr, 2009 at 2:41 am #

      Afterwards, the world will end in 2012! (woot)

      Reply
  14. Andy Briones 23. Apr, 2009 at 10:08 pm #

    There’s nothing a six-pack can’t fix. Drink up man. And oh, happy beerday! =)

    Reply
    • Ade 26. Apr, 2009 at 2:42 am #

      Thanks, man! Vodka fixed a lot of stuff.

      Reply
  15. jhay 23. Apr, 2009 at 10:16 pm #

    Happy hatching day ade! Today, 26 yrs ago, the world was shocked by the arrival of a human being that….okay I’ll just keep quiet now before your lawyers start knocking on my door.

    Reply
    • Ade 26. Apr, 2009 at 2:42 am #

      *shifty eyes, cocks gun*

      Reply
      • jhay 03. May, 2009 at 4:39 pm #

        Okay, Ade. Keep your cock and gun away now.

        Reply
  16. Winkie 24. Apr, 2009 at 9:24 am #

    Happy Birthday, Ade! Magkasunod pala tyo, mine is 24th.

    Wish you more blessings… and MOOLAH!

    Reply
    • Ade 26. Apr, 2009 at 2:42 am #

      Belated happy birthday, Winkie! Lam mo ba, super dami ng kilala kong may birthday sa 24?

      Reply
  17. loudcloud 24. Apr, 2009 at 11:16 am #

    happy birthday, noisy man!

    Reply
    • Ade 26. Apr, 2009 at 2:43 am #

      Thanks, loudcloud!

      Reply
  18. billycoy 24. Apr, 2009 at 3:39 pm #

    happy birthday. i wish you good health and more projects to come. LOL

    Reply
    • Ade 26. Apr, 2009 at 2:43 am #

      LOL naman. Salamat.

      Reply
  19. Alex 24. Apr, 2009 at 9:02 pm #

    Happy birthday to you, Ade!

    Reply
    • Ade 26. Apr, 2009 at 2:43 am #

      Thanks, Alex!

      Reply
  20. joyfulchicken 25. Apr, 2009 at 12:31 am #

    Happy birthday. Nice blinkies. Now I shall have an epileptic seizure in your honor.

    Reply
    • Ade 26. Apr, 2009 at 2:44 am #

      *sits in one corner, brings out popcorn*

      Reply
  21. lio loco 25. Apr, 2009 at 11:06 pm #

    hi ade! stumbled upon your blog via deejay’s gtm. this blog’s hilarious. i’ll link you up, if that’s okay with you.

    happy birthday btw! so KUYA ade, your two cents’ worth on sex, er…love, i mean? lolz!

    also, your blinkies reek of too much faggotry. nyahahaha!

    Reply
    • Ade 26. Apr, 2009 at 2:47 am #

      Thanks for visiting my blog! And thanks for the birthday greetings! Sure, link exchange, why not?

      Reply
  22. deejay 26. Apr, 2009 at 12:25 pm #

    aw, emo ade celebrating his 26th! :P

    haberdey dude! alam mo 26 is not late 20s. it’s still mid-20s!
    late 20s= 28 and 29
    mid-20s= 23, 24,25,26,27
    early 20s=20, 21, 22

    hehehe! that make you feel better? :P

    Reply
    • Ade 27. Apr, 2009 at 5:50 pm #

      That makes me feel a LOT better, yo.

      Jewel! See, I’m not in my late 20’s yet!

      Wait, didn’t that just undermine the entire blog entry? And made me feel like I wasted 2 weeks of moping around for nothing?

      *stabs wrist*

      Reply
  23. JC 29. Apr, 2009 at 4:05 am #

    Apart from me saying happy birthday, did you know that your site reads odd on an iphone browser? I mean, it’s okay, but I can’t comment. :(

    Reply
    • Ade 29. Apr, 2009 at 6:29 pm #

      OMG JC! I haven’t seen you in my blog for ages!

      I didn’t know about the iPhone problem. Thanks for pointing it out, I’ll see what I can do. Thanks for the greeting!

      Reply
  24. CM 02. May, 2009 at 1:02 am #

    Welcome to the dark realm the late 20’s! One day I shall be all thirty and shit and giving you advice on how to go about your late 20-hood while I take advice from people in their late 30s on how to go about my early 30-hood. Ok, that is messed up shit. Happy birthday na nga lang!

    Reply
    • Ade 02. May, 2009 at 2:14 pm #

      Thanks for the late greeting! And yeah, that IS messed-up. I can imagine a ten-year old guiding those toddlers through life.

      Reply
  25. Abby 02. May, 2009 at 2:01 am #

    So yeah, I didn’t greet you because I’ve been pretty much MIA, and also because I suck as a human being. Belated Happy Birthday Ade! :D Society is getting a lot younger, what with the whole “30s are the new 20s” thing. And don’t worry, I’m never taking advice from you lulz jk. But seriously though, hope you feel better.

    Reply
    • Ade 02. May, 2009 at 5:11 pm #

      You don’t want to hear my advice? Then how am I going to recommend the best types of duct tape to stick to your eyebrows when you’re bored, huh? (Trust me, I know a lot about human-duct tape contact)

      Reply
  26. khangkhung 07. May, 2009 at 2:42 pm #

    you mean, you have the same birthday with william shakespeare ang Angel Locsin? The other day, my friend told me that I have the same birthday with Angel Locsin too.

    Reply
  27. Rita Limehouse 12. May, 2009 at 11:48 pm #

    Happy belated b-day.
    I’ll be 26 in a few weeks and I’m hoping it isn’t as depressing as you make it sound.
    Hehehe…maybe I should plan to get wasted that night.

    Reply

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