Notes on Holy Week
15 Apr
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I started this Holy Week thing with high hopes. This year, I hoped to start reflecting and doing some inner discovery stuff like that. I mean, after the major fail that was last year, I’d rather do something positive for myself for once. And by positive, I mean anyhing that gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside, not unlike wanking off. Except that I’ll try not to wank off.
I failed.
Don’t get me wrong. Also, don’t judge me. I tried really hard to be a good citizen last week, but really, the internet wouldn’t let me. Also, I’ve discovered a new way to shift the blame of whatever bad shit I do: I blame the internet. You should try it too. Saaya Irie pictures giving you weird tingly crotchal feelings about underage girls? Blame it on the web. Reading about the Manson family giving you the urge to do a similar killing spree? Internet. Strange urge to go limpwristed and to speak in swardspeak for the rest of your life? Interfuckingnet. Charush.
Anyway, if you really must know what happened to me during Holy Week, I shall oblige and enumerate:
- Went around churches in Metro Manila and sat beside pretty girls praying and freaked them out by doing a raindance. That was an attempt to get laid. Needless to say, I failed.
- Watched appropriate movies for the religious season: Punisher: War Zone, Wonder Woman, Anal Sex Real Nakadashi starring Maria Ozawa, and The Little Mermaid. (Fun fact: I fapped off the most to Ursula)
- Drank until my liver gave up. I found myself the next morning in the middle of Ortigas, alone, and down to my underwear. Somebody stole my money and clothes, but my biggest worry was that I was wearing bacon briefs that day.
- Attempted to kidnap and sacrifice a young lady I found in the streets for the glory of Lord Satan. I failed. Sacrificed one of my testicles instead. That means I still have three balls left.
- Fanned my face with my fingers and screamed “POTANGENA ANG INIT!!!” every fucking hour.
- Envious of people Plurking how awesome the beach is, I filled a bucket with water and plunged ankle-deep in it. Also, I almost drowned. And that is how I will be swimming for the rest of my summer.
- Watched VJ Greg non-stop. Which reminds me, BRB.
So that sums up my Holy Week. How about you guys? How did you spend Holy Week?
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Spent my Holy Week the same way you did. Sans the testicle sacrifice and wanking.
No testicle sacrifice? That isn’t any fun!
Just tell the church girls about your fapping off to Ursula, That’s enough to drive them away.
If I tell them that was my penance, would I get laid?
Spent Holy Week doing to most unholy of things, drinking till sun up with my friends, totally forgot to fast and spent most of my waking hours watching CSI on DVDs Edu Manzano loves to burn – literally.
“wanking off” on holy week? i’m disappointed, ade. i thought you were better than that.
as for me, i spent holy week fasting, praying and meditating. in between i spent the hours visiting churches and feeding starving beggars (especially the cute ones).
i will take my leave now. i will pray for your soul. *deep sigh*
=(
Me, I went to the beach. Oh, and I plurked about it too.
Kaya ako naiinggit eh.
i trust that you have learned your lesson? :P
ngek! dapat sa taas ito. *turo sa taas*
i got lost! churi!
Pigged out, watched TV/DVDs, and slept a whole lot. Took pictures of flowers and a cat also. In Tagaytay. Heh.
And I had to stay in this smothering humid heat. :-&
Now I can’t stop watching VJ Greg too. He’s the best.
I know right?! Trainwreck, I swear.
Same as ade, I had xvideos and spankwire to get me through holyweek. Meh, blame the internets. Also, good times.
HIGH FIVE!
Fuckiiing sheet, benta si VJ Greg. :))
Aaaand, I don’t think I’m gonna watch the Little Mermaid anymore. Hmmm.
I want to plurk about the beach too. :|
I mean, that video’s a year old, and I can’t stop watching it. GAAAAAAAAAAAH!
hindi ko na feel ang holy week!
drinking till your liver gives out? lol. I haven’t done that in ages!
haha man this is good stuff lmao, drink till you drop ei lol the funny part is i was actually the same thing on the holy week lmao guess satan loves as all for sure lmao.