Tied To A Chair

19 Mar

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Ever been in a situation where you step into a room, and three ugly midgets dressed in clown suits hit you on the head with a sledgehammer, and when you come to you are tied to a chair with your eyelids duct taped so that you won’t be able to blink, and then the said midgets would force you to watch lewd sadistic gay clown midget sex acts which of course nobody but Bim likes to watch? No? Neither have I. It happened to a… friend.

But please do try to imagine yourself in that situation. What would you feel? If the first word that come to your head would be “boner”, I would suggest that you would immediately isolate yourself from the rest of humanity and check right away with a psychologist. Because boner isn’t the word I was looking for. The apporpriate feeling to be in a situation like that wouuld be “helplessness” (among, of course, other things like “suicide”, “eye bleach”, “insanity”, and “boner-killer”. But I digress.)


When humans get helplessly tied to a chair, the usual
course of action would be to “not laugh like a douche”.

But yeah, helplessness. That’s what I’m feeling right now. In fact, I shouldn’t be going through that because things have in fact been looking up for me in the last two weeks:

  • I got a new job that requires me to do actual thinking (something I sorely missed)
  • The day job that stabilized my body clock
  • I’m working for a boss who’s actually intelligent (as opposed to my previous one)
  • I’m playing bass in an awesome band
  • Said band has gigs
  • I’m getting drunk every other night and waking up inside a garbage can (good times)

Okay, shit still happens to me like:

  • My phone being stolen
  • My Yahoo! Messenger ID crapping out on me
  • A bunch of rabid dogs chasing me from UP Diliman to my house
  • And my love life still in that awkward stage where you honestly don’t know what the fuck is up.

But still, it’s all good.

Please don’t say that I should learn to count my blessings and stop whining. Trust me, I’m as contented as an obese Mexican having eaten his fifth burrito for lunch. But every now and then, I get the feeling that I’m tied to a chair and I’m helplessly watching life pass me by. Oh yeah, maybe it’s because I’m about to hit 25 in a little more than a month and I feel like I accomplished nothing of consequence? Aging can be such a bitch, don’t you think?

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17 Responses to “Tied To A Chair”

  1. Sorsi 19. Mar, 2008 at 11:38 am #

    bah! what an emo! hahahaha=) ayan, everytime I do this you complain I’m emo…and now you’re the one whining like a girl=P

    wait till you hit 27…doesn’t get better. I still feel like I’m tied to a chair sometimes. Midgets don’t scare me though…I’m their queen!

    Sorsi’s last blog post..White Rice? Brown Rice?

    [Reply]

  2. Kuya thegreatest 19. Mar, 2008 at 12:29 pm #

    You should learn to count your blessings and stop whi – oh whoops.

    An obese Mexican on his fifth burrito is only thinking of one thing, REGRET.

    I have nothing of any substance to add except, uhm, you should never eat five burritos in one sitting. And that’s my psuedo-subtle way of saying, “Do your best to NOT regret a single day of your life.”

    And oh, shut up about the age thing! Wait till you turn 35! Sheesh.

    [Reply]

  3. Noelle De Guzman 19. Mar, 2008 at 12:51 pm #

    Eeew can we not talk about turning 25 please? It’s giving me white hairs just thinking about getting older…

    [Reply]

  4. Baddie 19. Mar, 2008 at 8:28 pm #

    I went through the exact same emotional hurdle right before I turned 25. And 26. And I’m pretty sure I’ll go through all of that again right before I turn 27.

    Yeah. I’ve got nothin’.

    Baddie’s last blog post..Ceasing Dickeries for Holy Week

    [Reply]

  5. Juice 20. Mar, 2008 at 3:25 am #

    Three words for ya Ade: Quarter-life crisis!!!! :P

    Juice’s last blog post..That Astrology Thing

    [Reply]

  6. jhay 20. Mar, 2008 at 8:10 am #

    It’s either you’re truly evolving, I mean devolving into an emo or this is just a transitory phase you’re too slow or dumb (or both) to go through.

    I’m being mean coz I want to help you. Not! I just want to be mean. LULZ

    jhay’s last blog post..Jun Lozada – Krus ng Katotohanan

    [Reply]

  7. Ann 20. Mar, 2008 at 11:21 am #

    This is a good example of why this Emo “culture” annoys me. Every time someone even hints at melancholy these days, it’s already “emo”. :p

    Anyway, quarter-life crisis, dude. Sa generation natin, parang we get a crisis every 5 yrs. Sucks but it does get one to reflect.
    And mukha namang may direction ang buhay mo. And you’re in a freaking band (which along with athleticism, exponentially multiplies someone’s hotness lol). You’re doing well, imo. :)

    Ann’s last blog post..(almost) Weekend Update

    [Reply]

  8. FunnySexy 20. Mar, 2008 at 10:01 pm #

    To quote nga my dad, “Anak, you’re not getting any younger ha.”

    But Ade, it’s normal. Even I, who has a pretty “un-ruitine” life gets that. And you’re not old if you use today’s standards. Before, at 25 you’re expected to get married but now, my bosses are nearing 40 and enjoying every bit of it!

    Let’s just drink and have fun and munch on bituka ng manok and of course it’s on you coz your birthday’s near. :D

    FunnySexy’s last blog post..Conversation with Dad and Girl Trouble

    [Reply]

  9. Ade 21. Mar, 2008 at 12:20 am #

    I’ve noticed that there are only two kinds of replies to this sort of posts.

    a) Some insightful, wonderful comment which proves that proves that people actually read my posts and are giving me correct feedback.

    b) Some permutation of the “Ade sucks / is gay / is fat / is emo” retort.

    If you answered “B”, I hate you.

    [Reply]

  10. Euri 21. Mar, 2008 at 9:59 am #

    Bah! I thought you were kidnapped by some gaytard mafia bunch and when you come to, you’re being auctioned at some S+M club or something. XD

    PS: Yahoo messenger is ALWAYS like that. XD

    Euri’s last blog post..Holy Friday

    [Reply]

  11. Jayvee 21. Mar, 2008 at 11:31 am #

    My YM also crapped out on me. My whole friend list was fucking wiped out in one go. Good thing all of them were still in my address book so I just re-added them all.

    Jayvee’s last blog post..Lakers? 4-game road trip recap

    [Reply]

  12. Ade 21. Mar, 2008 at 10:00 pm #

    [quote comment="119804"]My YM also crapped out on me. My whole friend list was fucking wiped out in one go. Good thing all of them were still in my address book so I just re-added them all.

    [/quote]

    Lemme guess… you used Yahoo! Webmessenger as well?

    [Reply]

  13. Jayvee 21. Mar, 2008 at 10:05 pm #

    Nope, I used Yahoo! Messenger for Vista. After that incident, I just decided to switch back to YM v. 8.1.

    Jayvee’s last blog post..Lakers? 4-game road trip recap

    [Reply]

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1.   Tied To A Chair by The Philippines According to Blogs - 19. Mar, 2008

    [...] But please do try to imagine yourself in that situation. What would you feel? If the first word that come to your head would be “boner”, I would suggest that you would immediately isolate yourself from the rest of humanity and check right away with a psychologist. Because boner isn’t the word I was looking for. The apporpriate feeling to be in a situation like that wouuld be “helplessness” (among, of course, other things like “suicide”, “eye bleach”, “insanity”, and “boner-killer”. But I digress.) Read the rest of this entry » [...]

  2. TAKBO! [ Sa wakas ng pagkatuliro ] - Tied To A Chair - 19. Mar, 2008

    [...] like “suicide”, “eye bleach”, “insanity”, and “boner-killer”. But I digress.) Read the rest of this entry » Prev: Quickly Lose Friends The Ade Wayreply share audio reply video replyAdd a CommentFor:   [...]

  3. I’m going to iBlog! Are you? > Noisy, Noisy Man | Your daily dose of retard - 26. Mar, 2008

    [...] hai interwubs. Sorry for the lameness of my last two posts. I mean, seriously. They’re super lame. I mean, definitely not as lame as this guy [...]

  4.   I’m going to iBlog! Are you? by The Philippines According to Blogs - 26. Mar, 2008

    [...] hai interwubs. Sorry for the lameness of my last two posts. I mean, seriously. They’re super lame. I mean, definitely not as lame as this guy [...]

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