Quickly Lose Friends The Ade Way

16 Mar

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The Situation: Me and my band were in a coffee shop somewhere in Tomas Morato, drinking coffee (duh), annoying the fuck out of the laptop-weilding patrons who look like they’re about to close a deal or something but the fact that we were in a corner playing the guitars and loudly singing off-tune (we were, erm, composing songs. Shut up.) were preventing them from getting any real work done.

Also, we ended up in a Thai restaurant where we overloaded on curry dishes until I felt like throwing up all over the place.

Then: The phone of our guitarist Perf (not de Castro) rang. On the other line was a friend of ours who we haven’t seen in ages. She was inviting to meet us up in Malate, which we all know is like the gay capital of the Philippines. And in the background were five guys who suspiciously sounded… gay. Not to be discriminating against gays, but three guys stuck in gaylandia with five possibly gay guys who we don’t even know = a lot of awkward.


… kinda like this.

Thus: We informed the friend that we’re in Tomas Morato and that we can’t make it. So we all thought it was over and dome with.

Soon afterwards, my band chanced on a great idea: why not drive all the way to Tagaytay?

So, at 10pm, we decided to go to Tagaytay. We arrived an hour and a half later and we… went to the nearest Starbucks and do exactly the same thing we did in that other coffee shop earlier: you know, have coffee, and annoy the fuck off tourists with our singing. Of course, I was wearing shorts and the draft was freezing my ‘nads off, but that’s an entirely different story.

In Conclusion:
When we got back to Manila, we discovered that that friend of ours actually travelled all the way from Malate to Tomas Morato. Upon discovering that we took off to Tagaytay, she was pissed off at us superbly.

Thus ends my guide on how to quickly lose friends the Ade way. You should try it sometime. You’re guaranteed to lose an average of 2 friends a week.

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12 Responses to “Quickly Lose Friends The Ade Way”

  1. Maki 16. Mar, 2008 at 5:35 am #

    Haha, sa gay capital of Pinas ba naman kasi nagyaya eh =p

    LOZ, Ade I luurve that David Hasslehoff picture! :p hehe

    Maki’s last blog post..Philippine Postal Systems

    [Reply]

  2. Helga 16. Mar, 2008 at 5:35 am #

    Pussy. Where’s the unedited version?

    Helga’s last blog post..LAZY SUNDAYS & LAZY BLOGGING.

    [Reply]

  3. Neil 16. Mar, 2008 at 7:02 am #

    We all know? ALL? Oh c’mon Ade. You’re the only one who brought this faggotry up. Kidding, Ade :p

    Grabe. You did that to… wow. Just. w. o. w. Lucky she hasn’t found any mambabarang to curse you all with pin-pricked dolls covered with already used dotted condoms what with the dicketry you just did.

    Neil’s last blog post..PACQUIAO WINS OVER MARQUEZ

    [Reply]

  4. Steel 16. Mar, 2008 at 7:58 am #

    So what happened to the seven dwarves? And the demon who ate the humanity and consumed the souls of the living?

    This story sucks.

    Steel’s last blog post..Culture Shock I: Food

    [Reply]

  5. Ade 16. Mar, 2008 at 8:19 am #

    [quote comment="119740"]So what happened to the seven dwarves? And the demon who ate the humanity and consumed the souls of the living?

    This story sucks.
    [/quote]

    The seven dwarves went on to rape hamsters.

    [Reply]

  6. Toe 17. Mar, 2008 at 1:45 am #

    Hahaha… daming tips dito ah… starting with the singing pa lang. :) Anyway, just be thankful that the 5 gay guys didn’t follow you all the way to Tagaytay… now, that would be awkward. :)

    Toe’s last blog post..Two Years of Kurokuros and a Bit of Blogging Advice

    [Reply]

  7. Ade 17. Mar, 2008 at 2:12 am #

    [quote comment="119745"]Hahaha… daming tips dito ah… starting with the singing pa lang. :) Anyway, just be thankful that the 5 gay guys didn’t follow you all the way to Tagaytay… now, that would be awkward. :)

    [/quote]

    I knoes okay. Now what if they followed me home? That’d be kinda hard to explain to the folks.

    [Reply]

  8. Jayvee 21. Mar, 2008 at 11:06 am #

    Is this formula effective for enemies as well?

    Jayvee’s last blog post..Lakers? 4-game road trip recap

    [Reply]

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