“Oh my God! This dress is just so divine!!!”

This is the phrase that would make most men cringe with agony. You and your girl are on a date, debating the fine line between barbarism and justice with Saddam’s execution (something you know absolutely nothing about, but pretend to be a genius on so you can finally get laid) when you suddenly pass by Mango. And just like that, you are suddenly forgotten and suddenly the world seems to revolve around the amazingly overpriced jeans, shirts, fur coats, and other merchandise that they sell. But you’d suddenly make a rude reentry in her universe come payment time.

“Buy. It. For. Me. PLEEEEEEEEEEASE?!”

The aftermath of said reentry in her universe would be:

• Your diet would consist of Lucky Me instant noodles until the next payday
• You’d be selling your house (and your mother) so you’d be able to afford your laundry
• You’re riding a bike to be able to go to your office in Makati. You live in Bulacan.
• Basically, you can afford buying her ten more dresses in that price range, but you’re just a miser and you pretend to blame her for your apparent poverty just for kicks.

So, how to avoid the dreaded shopping request?

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2006 was quite a year wasn’t it? I mean, it’s the year I started blogging seriously and look where it’s taken me.

By “where it’s taken me”, I mean a restraining order, pending libel lawsuit and a meeting with the office psychiatrist. Not to mention the fact that I’m out of the will and my family’s changing their last name out of shame. Because I’m messed-up like that, yo.

So how the hell did I end up this way? Well, mainly from these posts from 2006:

Posts that made people (most notably me) question my sanity:

• Shawarma: A Survival Guide
• Dear Santa
• How to Flunk a Job Interview
• An Open Letter to my Stalker
• “Snakes on a Plane” Can Save Your Marriage!
• An Exclusive Interview with Manny Pacquiao

How I helped men become chick-magnets:

• Impress Girls the David Hasselhoff Way
• Troubleshooting Your Girl: Read Her Mind!
• Troubleshooting Your Girl: Your Wallet Beckons
• Troubleshooting your Girl: PMS
• How to Get a Date on Valentine’s Day
• The Entire Down The Highway: An Advice Column for Emos series

I love movies. Very much.

• Brokeback Mountain in 15 Minutes
• Da Vinci Strikes Back

My take on current issues:

• I Love Spoons. *giggle*
• December 22 is Global Orgasm Day

Other questionable stuff that could get me fired:

• OMG HOTDOG LOL
• A Day in the Life of Batman and Robin
• I Love Pasta. But not that much.
• The Many Uses of Bananaque
• The Clueless Wonders of the Blogosphere
• Things I’ve Learned From Steven Seagal

Also, this is my blogging highlight of 2006.

So, what’s your favorite article? No, not from my blog, silly. From yours.