LOL You Punch Like A Girl!
25 Sep
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I dunno about you ladies, but there’s this thing called “pride” that we men subscribe to. We don’t admit to feeling pain, even until you chop our arms off and lob off our legs with a broadsword. We’d still laugh in your face, and say threats like “You may have cut off my arms and legs, but you have not cut off my most important weapon: the penis! I’ll dickslap you to death, bitch!” or something intelligent like that.
Anyway, all I’m saying is that we all have delusions of awesomeness, we all pretend to not feel pain because we’re actually really awesome like that due to the size of our testicles. No, really.
Case in point: just last Saturday, we were having another TMB celebraganza somewhere in Makati and while we were waiting for Teh Mordo and Mike to arrive, me and Lauren had this most interesting conversation:
Lauren: You know what? I punch like a girl.
Me: Well, first off, you are a girl–
Lauren: And..?
Me: And girls aren’t supposed to punch well.
Lauren: What’s that supposed to mean?
Me: I mean, girls. Girls aren’t supposed to punch. They’re the ones who are supposed to be punched. And exchanged for a Crispa T-shirt and a Kamayan gift certificate.

So we take a break from the uncomfortable sexual repartee and laughing at mister too-drunk-to-get-laid, and it was time for some pretty interesting philosophical discussion. Chicks dig philosophical tortured artists, you see. Since I speak rather fluent drunk, it would’ve been an awesome conversation of sorts on existential angst and the merits of reading grammatically-incorrect soliloquies in a darkened bathroom. The drinking group is composed of me, four bandmates, and seven women, four of which, in my


My emo band, “The Eye Liners“, broke up. This made me sad(der) because I seriously don’t know how to live without them. I swear, nobody can make me feel just as miserable as they do. They introduced me to the wonderful world of misery- they showed me that no matter how comfortable life can get, I still have a reason to be depressed. Even if I just make it up. Also, they showed me how to cut my hair like somebody ran a lawn mower through it, and how to dress in black (and only black). 








