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As a guy who’s been labeled as “safe” and having a “boy-next-door vibe“, I noticed that girls tend to trust me. A lot. I’m the guy who women hang out with and tell all their dirty linen to while he secretly masturbates to their stories when they’re not looking. It’s good to be trusted, which means that girls are totally comfortable with me and they have no qualms nor inhibitions whatsoever with me.
Okay, maybe they trust me a tad too much.
You know some girls being considered one of the boys? I think I fall into the male equivalent of that situation. Because girls lug me around when shopping for clothes, make up, perfume, feminine pads, and other girly stuff you don’t even wanna know. They treat me as their gay best friend. Only straight.
It’s different from being a guy best friend. As in totally. I only noticed it lately, mainly because hanging out with my lady friends always puts me in these awkward situations:
- While walking in the mall, girl suddenly grabs my arm and starts pinching it like crazy. Thinking she’s gone mad or something, I throw her a quizzical look. She discreetly points at a guy who just passed by, and asks “Isn’t he the cutest?” I give her a blank stare in reply. Girl gives me a “you’re not gonna survive my PMS claws if you don’t agree” look. I grudgingly agree to guy’s cuteness, even though I have no idea how to tell if a guy is cute. Girl flashes me a big smile, happy and contented. And I feel half the man I used to be.
- Girl tries on make up. Shows it to me. Asks if it looks good on her. I answer, “I like the other shade of lipstick better.” Scary thing is that I meant it.
- Girl goes into a clothing store. Girl shows me two pieces of clothing, which are identical save for some nearly-invisible indentation near the sleeves. I choose blouse # 2. Mainly because I feel that it accentuates her figure better, and it gives her a much womanly look and… and… I’m beginning to wonder why I even know these things. I am officially depressed.
So those things are superficial. But remember, I also mentioned that girls trust me too much. Up to the point that they will tell me anything. And there’s this thing about trusting somebody too much: that someone ends up in the friend zone. With land mines, alarms, searchlights, and electrified fences. That somebody is me.
- Hot girl from I’m crushing on since college messages me on YM. First word of message: “Kuya!” Then she proceeds to send me hot pics of her in a two-piece bikini.
Sometimes you also tend to land in “too much info” territory, and it’s not a nice place to be. Case in point:
On a date: we find a quiet little corner in the busy mall. We sit there, grinning wide, looking deep into each other’s eyes with those meaningful stares. Then after what seems an eternity, she opens up the conversation. I listen intently, hoping to hear how important I am to her. Instead I hear a detailed description of her last date with that guy and the hot secks she got afterwards. I just stare at her, not knowing what to say. I excuse myself and bawl my eyes out in the bathroom.- Girl who I just professed my love to and expressed my intentions of courting texts me the day after the big confession, telling me she’s currently in a date with her fugly other suitor. And she texts me a detailed account of the date. Even with me not replying. And she texts me something like “Best friend! I’m so happy. I really like him.” I notice that people around are hiding sharp and pointed objects from me.
I just realized that maybe I am too nice, because girls tend to go for the muscular rich guy who’s into frats and fisticuffs and crashing his umpteempth car into a wall and who excretes testosterone by the bucketful. Not the sensitive Dominic Ochoa lookalike who’s into poetry and books and painting and writing and cries at sunsets who excretes estrogen by the bucketful.
Is it possible to become too nice? Am I too nice? I asked some women who I am close to, and these are the answers I got:
- Ingrid, college classmate: Yes.
- Rachelle, college classmate: Yes.
- Nikki: Yes! Rawr!
- Mei Mei, college friend: Yesssss.
- Ginny, officemate: *sigh* Yes.
- Liz: Yeah.
- Steel: Yes. *tee-hee*
- Baddie: Wait, why the fuck is Steel in this list?
Thank you, ladies for your unanimous input. I feel so much better now. In fact, I feel so great I feel like hanging myself.
Some questions: ladies, do you have a “gay best friend, only straight”? Why do you think of that guy that way? Also, guys, have you ever been in the same rut as I am?
UPDATE: Thank you all for your insights and opinions. We’ve recently opened a discussion regarding this matter over at The Man Blog Forum (registration required)
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63 Comments
Did you really hang yourself?
Ah, yeah, I know two guys who’re in the same situation like you. They’re my close guy friends. :-)
I’ve to laugh at the one about the lipstick. ‘Coz that happened to me :-)
Maybe it’s because you tolerate girls being like that to you. ‘Coz, I think, that’s what they do to me. I always get what I want the way I want it whenever they’re around. Haha.
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Dude you made me roll over the floor laughing my head off (ROTFLMHO). Haha
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PFFTTT!!!
And oh, you don’t look sexy when you hang yourself like that. XP
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you’re probably a SNAG - sensitive new age guy.. haha
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And why AM I on the list?! I’m not close to you.
That “Kuya!” girl is just the saddest thing. F’realz. If there’s someone “gay bestfriend, only straight”-er than you, it’s me. Hug?
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you must really really be like a gay friend, it’s so nice to have one, comfy, homey. but you said you are straight–i have not had a gay but straight friend.
maybe your friends do not think there is anything different–they just like you, that simple.
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oh gosh… i understand my guy friends na. when i tell them that, “i prefer overnights than regular pads because it saves my panties from my ‘waterfalls’”, they will give me quizzical looks and they look like they’re gonna commit suicide any second after that. haha=D
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Dude, you are totally in the dangerous friend zone. Everybody knows Dominic Ochoa never gets the girl at the end of the movie! He gets basted! And on top of that, He forgives her! Now that’s being TOO nice.
BTW, I linked you up!
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I have one. He knows my secrets that I have not told anyone else, not even my family or close girlfriends. I know it sounds wrong, but I find it easier to open up to someone with a very open mind and unbiased views. He teases me, makes fun of me, mocks me, acts as my conscience, listens to me rant and rave on just about anything, gives great advices, and is totally honest. He’s not afraid to tell me, “Ang pangit mo”, or” Ang taba mo na uli!” and I appreciate it. We’re practically brothers and sisters. Fortunately, he’s not my type, so I’ve never found myself falling for him. And he’s in love with my best girlfriend. As far as I know, all of my girl friends are, umm, sexually inexperienced, so I also find him really handy when I need to ventilate certain feelings. Yeah.
I think it’s an awesome thing to be a GBFOS. I’m sure some guys are just dying to be in your place. You get to have the best of both worlds. When you get into those dangerous friend zone situations, there’s no such thing as too much flirting. Ok, maybe not. It has its pros and cons, but if you think about it, would you really rather be a jerk than a guy who’s too nice? Girls don’t go for jerks. I know I don’t.
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I know a lot of guys who pretended to be gay just to get closer to a girl…well….or at least tried to appear harmless anyway. Besides, it’s nice to have a guy around that you can be utterly comfortable with, just one of the girls, naks! Be proud that you are proudly pulled into the fold. You’ll never have to wonder what goes on in the harem since the occupants will likely pull you in…oops! better not. You may end up losing body parts for that when the sultan finds out.
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Hmmm.. I have a gay bestfriend. And I also have a guy bestfriend. Best of both worlds huh? Haha. But I do tend to open up juicier stuff with my guybestbud. I don’t know why… It just feels “safer”. At least he’s not competition. Hahahaha! Cheer up Ade! You really are nice. Oooops. Did I just ruin your day? ^____^
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[quote comment="54213"]And
That “Kuya!” girl is just the saddest thing. F’realz.[/quote]
If you think being called “Kuya” sucks, then you have to hear someone call you “Manong”. I swear if I do homicides shall be committed.
And Ade, being in the closet is not bad at all. But you have to let it out buddy. People will still like you. People like…
Me. ;)
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You have no idea how to tell if a guy is cute? Come-the-fuck-on man! Bim says I’m cute all the time! And steel! Well, I for one think you’re cu — how could you not tell if a guy is cute?!
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[quote comment="54197"]Did you really hang yourself?[/quote]
Yep. I’m actually dead right now, and I’m blogging because I possessed the body of some girl named Reagan. Look, I can make her projectile vomit and turn her head 360 degrees!
[quote comment="54218"]oh gosh… i understand my guy friends na. when i tell them that, “i prefer overnights than regular pads because it saves my panties from my ‘waterfalls’”, they will give me quizzical looks and they look like they’re gonna commit suicide any second after that. haha=D[/quote]
KA-CHING!
[quote comment="54263"]if you think about it, would you really rather be a jerk than a guy who’s too nice? Girls don’t go for jerks. I know I don’t.[/quote]
Thanks for that long heartfelt comment. Meant a lot. :)
[quote comment="54376"]You have no idea how to tell if a guy is cute? Come-the-fuck-on man! Bim says I’m cute all the time! And steel! Well, I for one think you’re cu — how could you not tell if a guy is cute?![/quote]
But dude, you’re the only guy who I’d admit to being cute! Also your hair is divine. And your lips. You don’t know how much I want to land my peckers—
Hey, does anybody know how to edit comments?
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Wooot! I’m back!
Anyhoo, my best friend’s a guy. I guess it works for us cuz he gives me insight to the male species and I give him insight to the female species so it works both ways, everyone wins.
Besides, having a guy for a BFF means no bitchin’ and all the catfight dramarama.
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Heeeey, what happened to my lovely gravatar. Hrmph! :(
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Heeey, NOW what happened to my previous comment? Something’s wrong in the cyberworld today.
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despite all this bs about girls looking for the perfect gentlemen, girls, in reality, want the guy that their mothers have warned them about. they want to be fooled, to be ruled, to be blindfolded and banged against the…
so… ade… i think it’s great that you’re the nice guy that you are but you have to have the im-gonna-tie-you-up look witya. ;)
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[quote comment="54263"]Girls don’t go for jerks. I know I don’t.[/quote]
[quote comment="54464"]girls, in reality, want the guy that their mothers have warned them about. they want to be fooled, to be ruled, to be blindfolded and banged against the…
[/quote]
Let’s go Ade. There’s no room for us chivalrous, courtly Asiong Salonga type gentlemen in this God-forsaken world.
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oh DARN!
Kasi naman Adez, if you are attracted to that girl friend of yours, TELL HER! The mere fact that she even goes out with you, that’s a plus point already. But still be the same person… Para you wont just end up just being a GUY BEST FRIEND. If she tells you that she doesn’t feel the same way, at least, that would make you think twice about spending for another date again with her - or go Dutch na lang. Dating is not just a simple “go out” thing, we tend to invest our emotions, and our moolahs as well.
Just one question tho, its not the same with US, is it????
Blessed be!
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[quote comment="54507"]
Just one question tho, its not the same with US, is it????[/quote]
No, no, no. It’s not the same with us. We’re like KABABATAS! And we’re best friends! BFFs even! F’realz!
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Lier. She#1 didn’t go into detail about her last date and she#2 didn’t give you s blow-by-blow account of her ongoing date.
Or did they? :(
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[quote comment="54490"]
Let’s go Ade. There’s no room for us chivalrous, courtly Asiong Salonga type gentlemen in this God-forsaken world.[/quote]
Who the heck is Asiong Salonga? O_o
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[quote comment="54531"]Lier. She#1 didn’t go into detail about her last date and she#2 didn’t give you s blow-by-blow account of her ongoing date.
Or did they? :([/quote]
Hi Helga! Drunk are you?
Also, I’m telling you Gospel truth.
[quote comment="54577"]
Who the heck is Asiong Salonga? O_o[/quote]
Yeah, Steel, who the hell is Asiong Salonga?
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Can’t be helped dude. You’re a ‘nice’ guy and it shows!
Been a reader of ur blog for ages and most of your posts tend to tease only yourself - which, i think is a ‘nice guys’ approach to humour.
Being open and friendly to the ladies make you a true GBFOS. Plus you don’t have the baggage of competition, lies and bitchyness that sometime come with ‘girl best friends’.
Being mysterious and being not so ‘open’, i think, will get you out of being a GBFOS. But it will turn you into ur average uninterested guy.
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Jeez, why do nice guys like you end up in friend zone. Why can’t nice guys be like everyone’s FB?
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aww. i can soo relate to this post. haha. it’s nice being nice but it sucks being stuck in the friend zone and experience the hit of the bombs of the bff-only relationship.
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If it’s any consolation, I wouldn’t trust you with my baby sister.
There, this time I REALLY said it. ;)
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I didn’t know guys do have problems like that with their girl friends. Yeah. I thought guys think that it’s an advantage to them.
but oh, I know some boys who complain that that they’re too nice to girls. hha :)
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Ako naman, someone asked me about her sex life… maybe she thought it was ok for me… since i m a nursing students and i have had a lot of encounters with internal examination of the vagina and cervix during labor. etc.. etc..
questions like,
“Will i be devirginized if i masturbate too much…?” that was when she was still a virgin…
when she finally let go, “will i get any infection if i got too much oral sex from my boyfriend..?”
“will it make me infertile if i let my boyfriend foddle me down there?”
and… “dont tell mama ha… promise mo”
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I WASNT DRUNK DAMNZIT IVE BEEN SOBER FOR OIVER A WEEK NOW.
You know what? Eyeliner. And muscle shirts. Woozah!
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[quote comment="54587"]
Who the heck is Asiong Salonga? O_o
…………….
Yeah, Steel, who the hell is Asiong Salonga?[/quote]
Who is Asiong Salonga you ask? Damned if I know.
His life story, however, was portrayed by no less than our very own Casanova and all-around ladies man — Mr. Joseph Estrada.
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[quote comment="54641"]If it’s any consolation, I wouldn’t trust you with my baby sister.
There, this time I REALLY said it. ;)[/quote]
Thank you. I feel soooo much better. I’m too nice, but I can’t be trusted with women. :(
Yay!
[quote comment="54712"]
Who is Asiong Salonga you ask? Damned if I know.
His life story, however, was portrayed by no less than our very own Casanova and all-around ladies man — Mr. Joseph Estrada.[/quote]
You mean this bloke here?
Also, to the new visitors, thanks for visiting!
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This is the MAIN reason why I never made friends with girls this way. I know several guys in your situation and from what I heard it sucks. Especially if your into a girl and she starts calling you KUYA. Ask her out and she’ll say some shit like “HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME. I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND”… Dont make friends this way with WOMEN. NEVER!! Run if you still can! haha
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RE: do you have a “gay best friend, only straight”?
Answer: I have a gay best friend… as in gay… the gayest gay ever.
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“HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME. I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND”…
- That must be one of the most b.s. response. Yeah I agree it’s shit. I’m a woman but I don’t think I’ll ever say that.
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by the way, why is my gravatar not showing? :-(
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[quote comment="54352"]
you have to hear someone call you “Manong”. [/quote]
being a manong is good. it means you have this aura of wisdom earned through the years.
OnT: having the hots for a female friend who decided to make you her male BFF sucks. being shot down like a clay pigeon after confessing (hell yeah i did!) because you’re the male BFF and she’s scared of losing that relationship sucks balls more. being called “Kuya” (KOO-YA!) sucks the most. and i’ve experienced them all. shit. i’ll go hang myself now too.
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Hahaha, great picture=P funny=) I guess we’re in the same rut…im every guys pal, no guy’s gal and you are every woman’s companion, no woman’s passion=P But at least YOU still get some secks=P
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By the way, ya…i hosted the Taste Asia thing (i was heavily drugged then) but I don’t believe i met you. I dont remember seeing any emotionally-challenged Dominic Ochoa look-alike;) jk=) You were probably late and did not win a prize…because I gave almost everyone prizes=P
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[quote comment="54960"]Hahaha, great picture=P funny=) I guess we’re in the same rut…im every guys pal, no guy’s gal and you are every woman’s companion, no woman’s passion=P But at least YOU still get some secks=P[/quote]
Secks? Where? Oh, you mean with my right hand? Does that count?
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I can hook you up with someone who sells fake vaginas if you want=P blow-up dolls too=)
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[quote comment="54974"]I can hook you up with someone who sells fake vaginas if you want=P blow-up dolls too=)[/quote]
Somehow, I feel much, much sadder after reading this offer. :(
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Hahaha, oh no, Im sorry! Was just trying to be helpful=P If it makes you feel any better, I have a fake penis at home…I just don’t use it because it’s much much larger than any normal Pinoy penis=P haha;P
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oh…wait a minute…that’s too much information. you ARE right! you’re gay friend material! =O
just kidding Ade=)
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Hahahahahahaha! I think I’m guilty! OMG ade, he WAS cute naman talaga dba? lol.
And don’t be sad, we go chickhunting okies??? And you make da moves!!! :D
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LOL. Bakit may lalaki sa list? Haha. Nakakatawa yung hanging pic.
I have gay best friends (plural, think three), only straight just like you. And you know, for me they are so precious. :) At isa pa masaya sila kasama talaga.
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[quote comment="55124"]LOL. Bakit may lalaki sa list? Haha. Nakakatawa yung hanging pic.[/quote]
I was wondering the same thing. :(
[quote comment="54980"]oh…wait a minute…that’s too much information. you ARE right! you’re gay friend material! =O[/quote]
*cries*
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guys who can stand hanging out in malls with women who aren’t their GFs or wives must have Job’s patience. either that, or they’re angling for something else :)
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this entry had me chuckling like a hyena on ampethamines . haha. what a riot! on the surface a girl with a gay bestfriend sounds like a dandy idea but in reality they are fierce competitors.
girl: does this pants make my butt look big?
straight man: i don’t know but you’re really pretty.
gay man: yes.
girl: bitch!
gay man: slut!
bisexual man: yes but you’re sexier than jennifer anniston and uma thurman combined.
straight man: yeah?
*bisexual man gets to bed with the girl and the straight man*
there
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Quick! Read this rant before you kill yourself!
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honestly, i treat most of my guy friends the way your girl friends treated you (including those that i secretly like. hehe). it never crossed my mind that it makes you guys feel less of a man. tsk.. tsk..
at least now i know. i’ll be more sensitive.. hahaha..
so, dont hang yourself…
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thats hilarious i have the same prefix in my name and have sorta the same relationship with chicks who i have interest wit
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there are just some guys with whom you feel totally “safe”. like when you give them a blow by blow account of the hottest secks you had last night, you wouldn’t think they’d be getting hard on all the details.
hm… i think i find my straight guy friends neuter. oops!
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I feel for you man. Nice entry btw, though I’m sure you can never show your face around our school again. :p
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i say make the best out of it. pretend you’re gay. attend the girls’ pajama parties, go with them when they’re buying bikinis, pillow fights in the nude, mud wrestling with them ladies, sleepovers and tabi sa bed… the posibilities are endless man.
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Hey Ade! Thanks for visiting my blog! I’m totally loving the way you write! Link-exchange?
Hrmm.. I have a lot of friends who fall into that category. And I hang out with boys a lot in such a platonic way that I thought I’d be at a risk for being considered “one of the boys.” Happily, I love pink too much for them to forget exactly what I am. LOL!
Hrm…I’m more of a “little sister” for all of them. I don’t know if that’s just as bad. A guy I liked couldn’t like me back because I’m like a sister to him that he thinks it’s almost incestuous. Heh. Imagine that! No relation and he thinks it’s incest! :p Serves me right for getting too close to him!
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Well, I’m on the other side. I’m more of ‘one of the boys’. I share the same sentiments, although it’s not much like you know, that. Of course, have to take it on the male part. Imagine, my guy friends tell me their drama about their latest heartbreak and then they’d gush about a cutie lady with nice boobies and ass the next day. To hell with their stories. LOL.
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Women never trust me. My masculinity be damned, i wanna know what it’s like on the other side of the fence! I have lotsa make up tips to give
Anyway, I love your blog. I wish i had the energy and the attention span to write entries like this
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Wahahahaha!!!! really!!! this made my day!!! Hahaha!!!
Aww so now I can’t be friends with you? I tend to share my hot bikini pictures with my guy friends.. ahahaha kidding kidding
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Well I’ll be damned. I can actually relate to the scenario. I look upon myself and frown. That’s not something to be proud of now, is it?
All I know is that you are officially one of the people I look up to. I wish you much luck with that ‘nice guy’ problem. At least you don’t end up attracting the wrong kind of people. You can ask Sorbetera about the details on that.
Oh, one more thing. Sorbetera lies. She does show her hot bikini pics to her guy friends.
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Damn…sorry dude. That’s a fate worse than death.
Wait. You look like dominic ochoa?
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I know this post was 2 years ago, but bam! I know how you feel.. especially with this line “And there’s this thing about trusting somebody too much: that someone ends up in the friend zone. With land mines, alarms, searchlights, and electrified fences. That somebody is me.”
abi’s last blog post..And I blog
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