Know Your Jologs: The Sexually Deprived

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This entry is part 3 of 4 in the series Know Your Jologs

If you check out parts one and two, you’ll see a common thread between the jologs specimens I find. But somehow, the lines have been blurred upon further examination of the jologs sub-species. I may have found several new jologs subspecies, but I can’t be too sure. I needed to investigate further. Soon I found out that these people are bound by a common theme: they have not had sex in their pathetic lives.

Don’t believe me? Just take a look:

Guys, meet Dhan. He’s trying to rape a pillow. However, the pillow was able to capture pictures of this nefarious act and posted the image all over the interwubs. I tried to inform him of what happened so he can file charges against said pillow but he just snarled and lunged at me. I barely escaped with my asshole intact.

I’m not really sure where this creature falls under. I have a suspicion this piece of work wants to be a gAnGzTaH, but then, his fashion isn’t really douchebag-looking enough. But the creature’s pose is really getting to me though. I don’t know whether he’s saying “I’m Westside, yo!” or “I haven’t been laid ever, so I’m giving myself hugs.” Although I think he’s just begging to get laid. Because twenty seconds after this picture was taken, this jolog tore down the poster of Iya Villania beside him and tried to force a blowjob out of it. He sadly failed.

What, you say? He doesn’t look that bad and he doesn’t deserve to be in Know Your Jologs? Here, let me enlighten you with his friendster profile, taken verbatim:

“Hi im rhommel….my favoerits are… surfing with GMA…sex…..mining with Lucio Tan….. sex…… tree climbing with my Monkey…sex…. gambling with my dog named PUSSY!!!!!…. sex…. collecting condom of various sizez colors and flavors…. did I mentioned SEX????!!!!”

What say you? You so liked sex? No, you never mention it no. I so no didn’t never don’t had a clue you so liked sex.

Actually, I also did some experiments with jologs and jologs breeding. Here I tried to crossbreed a jolog with a dog. Unfortunately I only came up with a jolog that looked like a canine and makes out with dogs.

“HAY WORLD! I’m Jhon. I like Harry Potter. Also penis. My glasses are cool. And I don’t mind wearing an oversized jacket to make me look like I’m going to the prom. Of course, I’m going alone because nobody wants to date me because I have a tendency to bring out my cock at the most inopportune moments. Wanna suck my cock? Coz I like to suck mine a lot lol.”

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Posted in Specials.

By Ade

March 24, 2007

49 comments

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37 Comments

aaron, March 24, 2007:

LOL.

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Show-Ender, March 25, 2007:

ROFLMAO!!!

Can you give us Rhommel’s Friendster URL?

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cigarette_girl, March 25, 2007:

hahaha!

does this mean that people who get laid aren’t jologs?

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Roanne, March 25, 2007:

First one’s kinda cute.

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Talamasca, March 25, 2007:

ZOMG my eyes, my eyes!

Oh.My.Fucking.Gawd! If only comments could kill! Bwahahaha!

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baddie, March 25, 2007:

What’s wrong with trying to rape a pillow?!

Uh… just asking.

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ade, March 25, 2007:

[quote comment="28597"]First one’s kinda cute.[/quote]

…Except for the fact that he was RAPING A PILLOW!

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Sarah, March 25, 2007:

i so don’t wanna be in one of these posts. HAHAHA!

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Alex, March 25, 2007:

Tsk, saan mo naukuha itong mga ito, Ade?

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happysarah, March 25, 2007:

LOLZ! i was so effing glad i forwarded u that friendster profile of the guy in red shirt! hahaha!
*im still laughing*

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helga, March 25, 2007:

I want links to their Friendster profiles.

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ianuarius, March 25, 2007:

i pity the pillow wahehehe

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cyberpunk, March 25, 2007:

that naked guy with the dog scares me…

but the dog is so cute :D

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benj, March 26, 2007:

ianuarius, you pity the pillow? or you want to be the pillow? hehehehe. kidding.

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Ingrid, March 26, 2007:

Dude you forgot the video with the dancing boys. Remember… Jonel’s is the brief of choice. Hahahaha! Pag suot mo baby wala kang problema. hindi nagbbacon, hindi nagbabacon

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Jayvee, March 26, 2007:

The second guy is like singing the Real Slim Shady.

Fits him. He’s slim and his color is shady. OK did I give out a corny joke? Sorry. bye.

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Roanne, March 26, 2007:

[quote comment="28606"]What’s wrong with trying to rape a pillow?!

Uh… just asking.[/quote]

Yeah, don’t all pubescent boys go through that pillow-humping phase? :p

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Dre, March 26, 2007:

Hahaha!

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lee, March 27, 2007:

i’m rechecking my friendster pics. might just add a jologs gangstahh rockerzzz pose. maybe not.

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xylhynne, March 27, 2007:

really… the first was kinda cute(he’s a coconuter look a like me thinks) … i though you’re being nasty to include him… but yes… raping a pillow is a disturbing behaviour… nice one ade!!!

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Ann, March 27, 2007:

I’m loving your jologs serial. I wonder if all topless tambays fall under this category.

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Show-Ender, March 27, 2007:

Poor pillow. Must be tough being Raymund Guttierez’s sex toy.

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keysi, March 27, 2007:

i never went though that phase. *smirks*

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mari_elle, March 27, 2007:

Is there no end to this jologs thing?!? Guess not. They’re everywhere, and they just keep multiplying, even mutating into more hideous forms of jologs.

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vina, March 27, 2007:

finally, i am able to post! :P or maybe there was something wrong with my computer then…

congratulations on your nomination! and yes…no to jologs. forever.

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the jester-in-exile, March 27, 2007:

ROFLMAO.

what next, ade?

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jessica, March 28, 2007:

sexually deprived people syndrome. i’m just joking. say sex! Ü

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Zherwin, March 28, 2007:

yeah, what’s next? LOL.

does jologs denizens also exist in myspace? multiply? or friendster is just the party place?

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lyza, March 28, 2007:

haha! benta! pati na rin yung 1 and 2

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Euri, March 29, 2007:

Pfft.

Thanks for the good laugh, Ade. I needed that.

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ralphot, March 29, 2007:

that pillow rapist looks like a younger version of heroes’ sylar. come on ade, back me on this one. hehe

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jorge, March 30, 2007:

asteeeeeeeeeeg ROFL

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TJ, March 31, 2007:

MTV CASTING CALL – MALE VIRGINS – REALITY SERIES

MTV is looking for MALE virgins (ages 18 and up) to participate in a new reality series following them on their quest to find a girlfriend.

Participants must live within driving distance of the Los Angeles area and have limited to no experience with the opposite sex.

If you or someone you know has a hard time with the ladies and wants to improve their luck, this show is for them!

Send an email to TJ at subreality@mtvstaff.com with the following information:

Name:
Age:
Where you live:
Phone numbers:
Email:
Current photo & brief history of love life:

Thanks & good luck.

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Richmond, April 2, 2007:

kATUWA KA TALAGA.

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Megan, April 11, 2007:

haha, puta, laugh trip! :D

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April Zara, April 16, 2007:

Yeah, the first one’s pretty cute. The last one with the dog is just so probinciano (how do you spell that?) hahaha.

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hell no..., August 24, 2007:

ROFLLMAO

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