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Know Your Jologs: The Sexually Deprived

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This entry is part 3 of 4 in the series Know Your Jologs

If you check out parts one and two, you’ll see a common thread between the jologs specimens I find. But somehow, the lines have been blurred upon further examination of the jologs sub-species. I may have found several new jologs subspecies, but I can’t be too sure. I needed to investigate further. Soon I found out that these people are bound by a common theme: they have not had sex in their pathetic lives.

Don’t believe me? Just take a look:

Guys, meet Dhan. He’s trying to rape a pillow. However, the pillow was able to capture pictures of this nefarious act and posted the image all over the interwubs. I tried to inform him of what happened so he can file charges against said pillow but he just snarled and lunged at me. I barely escaped with my asshole intact.

I’m not really sure where this creature falls under. I have a suspicion this piece of work wants to be a gAnGzTaH, but then, his fashion isn’t really douchebag-looking enough. But the creature’s pose is really getting to me though. I don’t know whether he’s saying “I’m Westside, yo!” or “I haven’t been laid ever, so I’m giving myself hugs.” Although I think he’s just begging to get laid. Because twenty seconds after this picture was taken, this jolog tore down the poster of Iya Villania beside him and tried to force a blowjob out of it. He sadly failed.

What, you say? He doesn’t look that bad and he doesn’t deserve to be in Know Your Jologs? Here, let me enlighten you with his friendster profile, taken verbatim:

“Hi im rhommel….my favoerits are… surfing with GMA…sex…..mining with Lucio Tan….. sex…… tree climbing with my Monkey…sex…. gambling with my dog named PUSSY!!!!!…. sex…. collecting condom of various sizez colors and flavors…. did I mentioned SEX????!!!!”

What say you? You so liked sex? No, you never mention it no. I so no didn’t never don’t had a clue you so liked sex.

Actually, I also did some experiments with jologs and jologs breeding. Here I tried to crossbreed a jolog with a dog. Unfortunately I only came up with a jolog that looked like a canine and makes out with dogs.

“HAY WORLD! I’m Jhon. I like Harry Potter. Also penis. My glasses are cool. And I don’t mind wearing an oversized jacket to make me look like I’m going to the prom. Of course, I’m going alone because nobody wants to date me because I have a tendency to bring out my cock at the most inopportune moments. Wanna suck my cock? Coz I like to suck mine a lot lol.”

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37 Comments

  1. aaron, March 24, 2007:
  2. Show-Ender, March 25, 2007:

    ROFLMAO!!!

    Can you give us Rhommel’s Friendster URL?

    Click to Reply

  3. cigarette_girl, March 25, 2007:

    hahaha!

    does this mean that people who get laid aren’t jologs?

    Click to Reply

  4. Roanne, March 25, 2007:

    First one’s kinda cute.

    Click to Reply

  5. Talamasca, March 25, 2007:

    ZOMG my eyes, my eyes!

    Oh.My.Fucking.Gawd! If only comments could kill! Bwahahaha!

    Click to Reply

  6. baddie, March 25, 2007:

    What’s wrong with trying to rape a pillow?!

    Uh… just asking.

    Click to Reply

  7. ade, March 25, 2007:

    [quote comment="28597"]First one’s kinda cute.[/quote]

    …Except for the fact that he was RAPING A PILLOW!

    Click to Reply

  8. Sarah, March 25, 2007:

    i so don’t wanna be in one of these posts. HAHAHA!

    Click to Reply

  9. Alex, March 25, 2007:

    Tsk, saan mo naukuha itong mga ito, Ade?

    Click to Reply

  10. happysarah, March 25, 2007:

    LOLZ! i was so effing glad i forwarded u that friendster profile of the guy in red shirt! hahaha!
    *im still laughing*

    Click to Reply

  11. helga, March 25, 2007:

    I want links to their Friendster profiles.

    Click to Reply

  12. ianuarius, March 25, 2007:

    i pity the pillow wahehehe

    Click to Reply

  13. cyberpunk, March 25, 2007:

    that naked guy with the dog scares me…

    but the dog is so cute :D

    Click to Reply

  14. benj, March 26, 2007:

    ianuarius, you pity the pillow? or you want to be the pillow? hehehehe. kidding.

    Click to Reply

  15. Ingrid, March 26, 2007:

    Dude you forgot the video with the dancing boys. Remember… Jonel’s is the brief of choice. Hahahaha! Pag suot mo baby wala kang problema. hindi nagbbacon, hindi nagbabacon

    Click to Reply

  16. Jayvee, March 26, 2007:

    The second guy is like singing the Real Slim Shady.

    Fits him. He’s slim and his color is shady. OK did I give out a corny joke? Sorry. bye.

    Click to Reply

  17. Roanne, March 26, 2007:

    [quote comment="28606"]What’s wrong with trying to rape a pillow?!

    Uh… just asking.[/quote]

    Yeah, don’t all pubescent boys go through that pillow-humping phase? :p

    Click to Reply

  18. Dre, March 26, 2007:

    Hahaha!

    Click to Reply

  19. lee, March 27, 2007:

    i’m rechecking my friendster pics. might just add a jologs gangstahh rockerzzz pose. maybe not.

    Click to Reply

  20. xylhynne, March 27, 2007:

    really… the first was kinda cute(he’s a coconuter look a like me thinks) … i though you’re being nasty to include him… but yes… raping a pillow is a disturbing behaviour… nice one ade!!!

    Click to Reply

  21. Ann, March 27, 2007:

    I’m loving your jologs serial. I wonder if all topless tambays fall under this category.

    Click to Reply

  22. Show-Ender, March 27, 2007:

    Poor pillow. Must be tough being Raymund Guttierez’s sex toy.

    Click to Reply

  23. keysi, March 27, 2007:

    i never went though that phase. *smirks*

    Click to Reply

  24. mari_elle, March 27, 2007:

    Is there no end to this jologs thing?!? Guess not. They’re everywhere, and they just keep multiplying, even mutating into more hideous forms of jologs.

    Click to Reply

  25. vina, March 27, 2007:

    finally, i am able to post! :P or maybe there was something wrong with my computer then…

    congratulations on your nomination! and yes…no to jologs. forever.

    Click to Reply

  26. the jester-in-exile, March 27, 2007:

    ROFLMAO.

    what next, ade?

    Click to Reply

  27. jessica, March 28, 2007:

    sexually deprived people syndrome. i’m just joking. say sex! Ü

    Click to Reply

  28. Zherwin, March 28, 2007:

    yeah, what’s next? LOL.

    does jologs denizens also exist in myspace? multiply? or friendster is just the party place?

    Click to Reply

  29. lyza, March 28, 2007:

    haha! benta! pati na rin yung 1 and 2

    Click to Reply

  30. Euri, March 29, 2007:

    Pfft.

    Thanks for the good laugh, Ade. I needed that.

    Click to Reply

  31. ralphot, March 29, 2007:

    that pillow rapist looks like a younger version of heroes’ sylar. come on ade, back me on this one. hehe

    Click to Reply

  32. jorge, March 30, 2007:

    asteeeeeeeeeeg ROFL

    Click to Reply

  33. TJ, March 31, 2007:

    MTV CASTING CALL – MALE VIRGINS – REALITY SERIES

    MTV is looking for MALE virgins (ages 18 and up) to participate in a new reality series following them on their quest to find a girlfriend.

    Participants must live within driving distance of the Los Angeles area and have limited to no experience with the opposite sex.

    If you or someone you know has a hard time with the ladies and wants to improve their luck, this show is for them!

    Send an email to TJ at subreality@mtvstaff.com with the following information:

    Name:
    Age:
    Where you live:
    Phone numbers:
    Email:
    Current photo & brief history of love life:

    Thanks & good luck.

    Click to Reply

  34. Richmond, April 2, 2007:

    kATUWA KA TALAGA.

    Click to Reply

  35. Megan, April 11, 2007:

    haha, puta, laugh trip! :D

    Click to Reply

  36. April Zara, April 16, 2007:

    Yeah, the first one’s pretty cute. The last one with the dog is just so probinciano (how do you spell that?) hahaha.

    Click to Reply

  37. hell no..., August 24, 2007:

    ROFLLMAO

    Click to Reply

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