An Open Letter To The Judges of The 2007 Philippine Blog Awards

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Dear Judges,

I have absolutely no idea who did it (no, wait, I do), but I’ve been nominated in the 2007 Philippine Blog Awards, in the Entertainment (along with The Man Blog), Personal and Blogger’s Choice Award categories. I think I fit more into the Darwin Awards, but that’s just me. I know my readers follow my exploits because they just want to make fun of how I totally mess up my life and I know they are waiting for the time I end up as a beggar in Quiapo who sells sexual favors for a buck apiece, but thanks anyway.

Ah, the sweet taste of victory.

However, I have not achieved anything of consequence in my entire 23 years of living. Ever. You see, I have no life. Sure, I have a band, am a self-proclaimed rock star, am ~~ambigiously gay~~ absolutely manly, am a total asshole, but my life is nothing but 23 years of wasted oxygen. I mean, I have goals but I don’t even know what to do with them.

Anyway, my simple plea is this: let me win. I’m sure I will make a good poster boy for the blogging community. You won’t regret it. Since I’m selling myself already, lemme tell you why I should and should not win.

Pros:

I am a very nice guy. In fact, I’m so nice, I decided not to send you the bomb threat letters to coerce you to voting for me.
I will not do triple cartwheels on stage when I win the award.
Two words: Rock. Star.
I don’t pick my nose that much in public like I used to.
I will grant sexual favors to the person who gives me the highest score.
I take a bath twice a day, therefore I don’t smell bad.
Unlike some bloggers there, I don’t go emo on my blog. No, I don’t show the world how my life sucks and that I slash my wrists and wear that ugly hairdo…

Cons:

If you’re ugly and act like a total douchebag, you’ll probably end up being made fun of on my blog.
Fat. Fugly.
Constant need for approval, therefore the constant badgering judges of some competition to vote for me.
I have an unhealthy obsession with all things David Hasselhoff.

So dear judges, it’s simple mathematics. More advantages than disadvantages. Also, if you still aren’t convinced, how’s about dinner later, around eight-ish? I know of a good place where we can… *kindat sabay kagat sa labi*

xoxo,
Ade

P.S. Methinks I just seriously hurt my chances of winning. ktnxbai.

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Entertainment

Blogger’s Choice Award Nominees

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Posted in Specials.

By Ade

March 16, 2007

38 comments

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28 Comments

benj, March 16, 2007:

you stole this from my database! i was supposed to write a similar entry!!! noooooooo!!!!

Click to Reply
ade, March 16, 2007:

[quote comment="26279"]you stole this from my database! i was supposed to write a similar entry!!! noooooooo!!!![/quote]

So I can steal from databases now?! Kewl!

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paurong, March 16, 2007:

nice!

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Talamasca, March 16, 2007:

ZOMG Ade you’re up against strong competition! Jerry Yan Philippines is sooo gonna kick your ass! Hahahaha!

I wonder why nobody nominated me? Oh right, everybody hates snarky me! Well, no biggie, because I hate everybody too. *insert evil laughs here*

Click to Reply
Jhed, March 17, 2007:

Akala ko I was stuck in Benj’s page, yun pala you have the same theme. Hehe.

Wow. Ang dami palang nominees. Wait, am I even allowed to comment in Tagalog? LOL.

Good luck! :D

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trench, March 17, 2007:

kinda looks like she’s kissing an ice dildo! LOL

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Alex, March 17, 2007:

Oooh. Couple this with a prepared acceptance speech and the deal’s sealed! Hehehe.

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Jerome aka Bridget Jones, March 17, 2007:

hahahahahaha! just like the oscars, campaigning for votes? Nice one, ade. win or lose, you still have the title of ROCK.STAR. (clicks tongue)

Click to Reply
reyna elena, March 17, 2007:

Congratulations!!!!

TO US! He He He

Moi? I coerced, initimidated, harassed and threatened my readers with bodily harm if they don’t nominate me. Not only that, I am warning the judges that I practice voodoo. I have dolls and I got perdible. I am soooooo readddyyyyy!

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fruityoaty, March 18, 2007:

Dude, that was awesome… and funny… You deserve to get an award… just so we can hear your acceptance speech.

But, NO ONE should ever ever ever admit that they have an obsession with David Hasselhoff. Some things MUST be kept in the closet. LOL. :D

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Shari, March 18, 2007:

So that’s what the phallic trophy looks like… *amazed*

I should therefore win, because I just threw away my dildo. LOL.

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arvin, March 18, 2007:

goodluck ade! you shoulg at least win a giant thingy haha :D

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Village Tickler, March 18, 2007:

Hi Ade,

Goodluck and hope you kick Jerry Yan’s ass. Hahaha!

Village Tickler

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dimaks, March 19, 2007:

good luck ade.. you deserve a trophy more gorgeous than that photo posted above :D

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billycoy, March 19, 2007:

i prefer dying and shedding blood over the prized iPod than with the trophy. i will kill for that iPod!

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jepoy, March 19, 2007:

you forgot sam milby.

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helga, March 19, 2007:

There are too many nominees, so I refuse to vote.

Umm. Yeah. Good luck, Ade!

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Martin, March 19, 2007:

With a letter like that, you got my vote. :p

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benj, March 20, 2007:

who told you that people get to vote?

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baddie, March 20, 2007:

“*kindat sabay kagat sa labi*”

You stole this from my database! My database of secret body language techniques to attract the gays! Stop stealing from people’s databases!

Click to Reply
confessions from a cheap motel, March 21, 2007:

whoa! that’s a loooooong list of nominees.

the best way to weed out the winner is to have all of them slug it out in a mud wrestling match ala royal rumble.

ade will win that hands down :P

Click to Reply
benj, March 21, 2007:

I somehow feel responsible for using the same theme. That could’ve been one of the reasons why you were left out.

Either that or the judges are douchebags.

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jaywalker, March 21, 2007:

ey good luck …I should’ve nominated myself tsk tsk

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mari_elle, March 21, 2007:

What’s the price? heehee… Popularity? More hits? ^v^

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Steel, March 22, 2007:

[quote comment="27840"]What’s the price? heehee… Popularity? More hits? ^v^[/quote]

Pity secks!

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karla, March 22, 2007:

cool :D the man blog is one of the finalists :D

you write there anyways. thus, it’s still an accomplishment for you :D

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XYRYX, March 23, 2007:

napadaan lang… link ex?

Click to Reply
Kuya lumier, May 20, 2007:

pa add link naman po nang blogsite ko. Thanks

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