An Open Letter To The Judges of The 2007 Philippine Blog Awards

16 Mar

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This entry is part 3 of 12 in the series Open Letters

Dear Judges,

I have absolutely no idea who did it (no, wait, I do), but I’ve been nominated in the 2007 Philippine Blog Awards, in the Entertainment (along with The Man Blog), Personal and Blogger’s Choice Award categories. I think I fit more into the Darwin Awards, but that’s just me. I know my readers follow my exploits because they just want to make fun of how I totally mess up my life and I know they are waiting for the time I end up as a beggar in Quiapo who sells sexual favors for a buck apiece, but thanks anyway.

Ah, the sweet taste of victory.

However, I have not achieved anything of consequence in my entire 23 years of living. Ever. You see, I have no life. Sure, I have a band, am a self-proclaimed rock star, am ~~ambigiously gay~~ absolutely manly, am a total asshole, but my life is nothing but 23 years of wasted oxygen. I mean, I have goals but I don’t even know what to do with them.

Anyway, my simple plea is this: let me win. I’m sure I will make a good poster boy for the blogging community. You won’t regret it. Since I’m selling myself already, lemme tell you why I should and should not win.

Pros:

I am a very nice guy. In fact, I’m so nice, I decided not to send you the bomb threat letters to coerce you to voting for me.
I will not do triple cartwheels on stage when I win the award.
Two words: Rock. Star.
I don’t pick my nose that much in public like I used to.
I will grant sexual favors to the person who gives me the highest score.
I take a bath twice a day, therefore I don’t smell bad.
Unlike some bloggers there, I don’t go emo on my blog. No, I don’t show the world how my life sucks and that I slash my wrists and wear that ugly hairdo…

Cons:

If you’re ugly and act like a total douchebag, you’ll probably end up being made fun of on my blog.
Fat. Fugly.
Constant need for approval, therefore the constant badgering judges of some competition to vote for me.
I have an unhealthy obsession with all things David Hasselhoff.

So dear judges, it’s simple mathematics. More advantages than disadvantages. Also, if you still aren’t convinced, how’s about dinner later, around eight-ish? I know of a good place where we can… *kindat sabay kagat sa labi*

xoxo,
Ade

P.S. Methinks I just seriously hurt my chances of winning. ktnxbai.

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Comments 38 Comments
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38 Responses to “An Open Letter To The Judges of The 2007 Philippine Blog Awards”

benj 16. Mar, 2007 at 9:06 pm #

you stole this from my database! i was supposed to write a similar entry!!! noooooooo!!!!

[Reply]
ade 16. Mar, 2007 at 9:15 pm #

[quote comment="26279"]you stole this from my database! i was supposed to write a similar entry!!! noooooooo!!!![/quote]

So I can steal from databases now?! Kewl!

[Reply]
paurong 16. Mar, 2007 at 10:24 pm #

nice!

[Reply]
Talamasca 16. Mar, 2007 at 11:13 pm #

ZOMG Ade you’re up against strong competition! Jerry Yan Philippines is sooo gonna kick your ass! Hahahaha!

I wonder why nobody nominated me? Oh right, everybody hates snarky me! Well, no biggie, because I hate everybody too. *insert evil laughs here*

[Reply]
Jhed 17. Mar, 2007 at 4:24 am #

Akala ko I was stuck in Benj’s page, yun pala you have the same theme. Hehe.

Wow. Ang dami palang nominees. Wait, am I even allowed to comment in Tagalog? LOL.

Good luck! :D

[Reply]
trench 17. Mar, 2007 at 5:52 am #

kinda looks like she’s kissing an ice dildo! LOL

[Reply]
Alex 17. Mar, 2007 at 9:39 am #

Oooh. Couple this with a prepared acceptance speech and the deal’s sealed! Hehehe.

[Reply]
Jerome aka Bridget Jones 17. Mar, 2007 at 8:52 pm #

hahahahahaha! just like the oscars, campaigning for votes? Nice one, ade. win or lose, you still have the title of ROCK.STAR. (clicks tongue)

[Reply]
reyna elena 17. Mar, 2007 at 10:12 pm #

Congratulations!!!!

TO US! He He He

Moi? I coerced, initimidated, harassed and threatened my readers with bodily harm if they don’t nominate me. Not only that, I am warning the judges that I practice voodoo. I have dolls and I got perdible. I am soooooo readddyyyyy!

[Reply]
fruityoaty 18. Mar, 2007 at 12:25 am #

Dude, that was awesome… and funny… You deserve to get an award… just so we can hear your acceptance speech.

But, NO ONE should ever ever ever admit that they have an obsession with David Hasselhoff. Some things MUST be kept in the closet. LOL. :D

[Reply]
Shari 18. Mar, 2007 at 8:04 am #

So that’s what the phallic trophy looks like… *amazed*

I should therefore win, because I just threw away my dildo. LOL.

[Reply]
arvin 18. Mar, 2007 at 11:28 am #

goodluck ade! you shoulg at least win a giant thingy haha :D

[Reply]
Village Tickler 18. Mar, 2007 at 12:19 pm #

Hi Ade,

Goodluck and hope you kick Jerry Yan’s ass. Hahaha!

Village Tickler

[Reply]
dimaks 19. Mar, 2007 at 2:53 am #

good luck ade.. you deserve a trophy more gorgeous than that photo posted above :D

[Reply]
billycoy 19. Mar, 2007 at 1:55 pm #

i prefer dying and shedding blood over the prized iPod than with the trophy. i will kill for that iPod!

[Reply]
jepoy 19. Mar, 2007 at 3:05 pm #

you forgot sam milby.

[Reply]
helga 19. Mar, 2007 at 3:19 pm #

There are too many nominees, so I refuse to vote.

Umm. Yeah. Good luck, Ade!

[Reply]
Martin 19. Mar, 2007 at 9:03 pm #

With a letter like that, you got my vote. :p

[Reply]
benj 20. Mar, 2007 at 3:06 am #

who told you that people get to vote?

[Reply]
baddie 20. Mar, 2007 at 4:32 pm #

“*kindat sabay kagat sa labi*”

You stole this from my database! My database of secret body language techniques to attract the gays! Stop stealing from people’s databases!

[Reply]
confessions from a cheap motel 21. Mar, 2007 at 1:31 am #

whoa! that’s a loooooong list of nominees.

the best way to weed out the winner is to have all of them slug it out in a mud wrestling match ala royal rumble.

ade will win that hands down :P

[Reply]
benj 21. Mar, 2007 at 2:55 am #

I somehow feel responsible for using the same theme. That could’ve been one of the reasons why you were left out.

Either that or the judges are douchebags.

[Reply]
jaywalker 21. Mar, 2007 at 11:18 am #

ey good luck …I should’ve nominated myself tsk tsk

[Reply]
mari_elle 21. Mar, 2007 at 4:07 pm #

What’s the price? heehee… Popularity? More hits? ^v^

[Reply]
Steel 22. Mar, 2007 at 5:39 am #

[quote comment="27840"]What’s the price? heehee… Popularity? More hits? ^v^[/quote]

Pity secks!

[Reply]
karla 22. Mar, 2007 at 9:26 pm #

cool :D the man blog is one of the finalists :D

you write there anyways. thus, it’s still an accomplishment for you :D

[Reply]
XYRYX 23. Mar, 2007 at 3:06 am #

napadaan lang… link ex?

[Reply]
Kuya lumier 20. May, 2007 at 9:05 pm #

pa add link naman po nang blogsite ko. Thanks

[Reply]

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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MISTERYOSA | The Personal Website of Shari Cruz - 20. Mar, 2007
s a great honor to be [somehow] recognized. It’s just sad because I was just about to announce that I might not make it to the awards night. *sighs* My PBA acceptance speech has gone into waste. Hey, Ade, lend me that phallic trophy? And Benj, don’t slash your wrists, eh? Thanks for informing me about this, haha. I never would have known. PS: Everyone, thanks so much for the comments on my previous entry. My ex and I broke up more than a year ago. I
Shari Shari Shari - Shari - 20. Mar, 2007
like you lovely people), it’s a great honor to be [somehow] recognized. It’s just sad because I was just about to announce that I might not make it to the awards night. *sighs* My PBA acceptance speech has gone into waste. Hey, Ade, lend me that phallic trophy? And Benj, don’t slash your wrists, eh? Thanks for informing me about this, haha. I never would have known. PS: Everyone, thanks so much for the comments on my previous entry. My ex and I broke up more than a year ago. I’m soooo over it
msquareone.com - 16. Mar, 2007
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