An Open Letter To The Judges of The 2007 Philippine Blog Awards

By Ade | March 16, 2007

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Dear Judges,

I have absolutely no idea who did it (no, wait, I do), but I’ve been nominated in the 2007 Philippine Blog Awards, in the Entertainment (along with The Man Blog), Personal and Blogger’s Choice Award categories. I think I fit more into the Darwin Awards, but that’s just me. I know my readers follow my exploits because they just want to make fun of how I totally mess up my life and I know they are waiting for the time I end up as a beggar in Quiapo who sells sexual favors for a buck apiece, but thanks anyway.

Ah, the sweet taste of victory.

However, I have not achieved anything of consequence in my entire 23 years of living. Ever. You see, I have no life. Sure, I have a band, am a self-proclaimed rock star, am ~~ambigiously gay~~ absolutely manly, am a total asshole, but my life is nothing but 23 years of wasted oxygen. I mean, I have goals but I don’t even know what to do with them.

Anyway, my simple plea is this: let me win. I’m sure I will make a good poster boy for the blogging community. You won’t regret it. Since I’m selling myself already, lemme tell you why I should and should not win.

Pros:

I am a very nice guy. In fact, I’m so nice, I decided not to send you the bomb threat letters to coerce you to voting for me.
I will not do triple cartwheels on stage when I win the award.
Two words: Rock. Star.
I don’t pick my nose that much in public like I used to.
I will grant sexual favors to the person who gives me the highest score.
I take a bath twice a day, therefore I don’t smell bad.
Unlike some bloggers there, I don’t go emo on my blog. No, I don’t show the world how my life sucks and that I slash my wrists and wear that ugly hairdo…

Cons:

If you’re ugly and act like a total douchebag, you’ll probably end up being made fun of on my blog.
Fat. Fugly.
Constant need for approval, therefore the constant badgering judges of some competition to vote for me.
I have an unhealthy obsession with all things David Hasselhoff.

So dear judges, it’s simple mathematics. More advantages than disadvantages. Also, if you still aren’t convinced, how’s about dinner later, around eight-ish? I know of a good place where we can… *kindat sabay kagat sa labi*

xoxo,
Ade

P.S. Methinks I just seriously hurt my chances of winning. ktnxbai.

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28 Comments

benj

Posted March 16, 2007 at 9:06 pm | Permalink

you stole this from my database! i was supposed to write a similar entry!!! noooooooo!!!!

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ade

Posted March 16, 2007 at 9:15 pm | Permalink

[quote comment="26279"]you stole this from my database! i was supposed to write a similar entry!!! noooooooo!!!![/quote]

So I can steal from databases now?! Kewl!

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paurong

Posted March 16, 2007 at 10:24 pm | Permalink

nice!

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Talamasca

Posted March 16, 2007 at 11:13 pm | Permalink

ZOMG Ade you’re up against strong competition! Jerry Yan Philippines is sooo gonna kick your ass! Hahahaha!

I wonder why nobody nominated me? Oh right, everybody hates snarky me! Well, no biggie, because I hate everybody too. *insert evil laughs here*

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Jhed

Posted March 17, 2007 at 4:24 am | Permalink

Akala ko I was stuck in Benj’s page, yun pala you have the same theme. Hehe.

Wow. Ang dami palang nominees. Wait, am I even allowed to comment in Tagalog? LOL.

Good luck! :D

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trench

Posted March 17, 2007 at 5:52 am | Permalink

kinda looks like she’s kissing an ice dildo! LOL

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Alex

Posted March 17, 2007 at 9:39 am | Permalink

Oooh. Couple this with a prepared acceptance speech and the deal’s sealed! Hehehe.

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Jerome aka Bridget Jones

Posted March 17, 2007 at 8:52 pm | Permalink

hahahahahaha! just like the oscars, campaigning for votes? Nice one, ade. win or lose, you still have the title of ROCK.STAR. (clicks tongue)

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reyna elena

Posted March 17, 2007 at 10:12 pm | Permalink

Congratulations!!!!

TO US! He He He

Moi? I coerced, initimidated, harassed and threatened my readers with bodily harm if they don’t nominate me. Not only that, I am warning the judges that I practice voodoo. I have dolls and I got perdible. I am soooooo readddyyyyy!

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fruityoaty

Posted March 18, 2007 at 12:25 am | Permalink

Dude, that was awesome… and funny… You deserve to get an award… just so we can hear your acceptance speech.

But, NO ONE should ever ever ever admit that they have an obsession with David Hasselhoff. Some things MUST be kept in the closet. LOL. :D

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Shari

Posted March 18, 2007 at 8:04 am | Permalink

So that’s what the phallic trophy looks like… *amazed*

I should therefore win, because I just threw away my dildo. LOL.

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arvin

Posted March 18, 2007 at 11:28 am | Permalink

goodluck ade! you shoulg at least win a giant thingy haha :D

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Village Tickler

Posted March 18, 2007 at 12:19 pm | Permalink

Hi Ade,

Goodluck and hope you kick Jerry Yan’s ass. Hahaha!

Village Tickler

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dimaks

Posted March 19, 2007 at 2:53 am | Permalink

good luck ade.. you deserve a trophy more gorgeous than that photo posted above :D

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billycoy

Posted March 19, 2007 at 1:55 pm | Permalink

i prefer dying and shedding blood over the prized iPod than with the trophy. i will kill for that iPod!

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jepoy

Posted March 19, 2007 at 3:05 pm | Permalink

you forgot sam milby.

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helga

Posted March 19, 2007 at 3:19 pm | Permalink

There are too many nominees, so I refuse to vote.

Umm. Yeah. Good luck, Ade!

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Martin

Posted March 19, 2007 at 9:03 pm | Permalink

With a letter like that, you got my vote. :p

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benj

Posted March 20, 2007 at 3:06 am | Permalink

who told you that people get to vote?

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baddie

Posted March 20, 2007 at 4:32 pm | Permalink

“*kindat sabay kagat sa labi*”

You stole this from my database! My database of secret body language techniques to attract the gays! Stop stealing from people’s databases!

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confessions from a cheap motel

Posted March 21, 2007 at 1:31 am | Permalink

whoa! that’s a loooooong list of nominees.

the best way to weed out the winner is to have all of them slug it out in a mud wrestling match ala royal rumble.

ade will win that hands down :P

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benj

Posted March 21, 2007 at 2:55 am | Permalink

I somehow feel responsible for using the same theme. That could’ve been one of the reasons why you were left out.

Either that or the judges are douchebags.

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jaywalker

Posted March 21, 2007 at 11:18 am | Permalink

ey good luck …I should’ve nominated myself tsk tsk

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mari_elle

Posted March 21, 2007 at 4:07 pm | Permalink

What’s the price? heehee… Popularity? More hits? ^v^

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Steel

Posted March 22, 2007 at 5:39 am | Permalink

[quote comment="27840"]What’s the price? heehee… Popularity? More hits? ^v^[/quote]

Pity secks!

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karla

Posted March 22, 2007 at 9:26 pm | Permalink

cool :D the man blog is one of the finalists :D

you write there anyways. thus, it’s still an accomplishment for you :D

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XYRYX

Posted March 23, 2007 at 3:06 am | Permalink

napadaan lang… link ex?

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Kuya lumier

Posted May 20, 2007 at 9:05 pm | Permalink

pa add link naman po nang blogsite ko. Thanks

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10 Trackbacks

By Waiting on the World to Change - Ade's on March 16, 2007 at 1:05 pm

[IMG Phallic Trophy] Ah, the sweet taste of victory. Read the rest of this entry »
By PinoyBlog: The Philippines According to Blogs on March 16, 2007 at 1:07 pm

[IMG] Ah, the sweet taste of victory. Read the rest of this entry »
By msquareone.com on March 16, 2007 at 1:07 pm

[IMG] Ah, the sweet taste of victory. Read the rest of this entry »
By darkspear: An Open Letter To The Judges of The 2007 Philiipine Blog Awards on March 16, 2007 at 10:35 pm

[...] who sells sexual favors for a buck apiece, but thanks anyway. Ah, the sweet taste of victory.Read the rest of this entry »(Post a new [...]
By MISTERYOSA | The Personal Website of Shari Cruz on March 20, 2007 at 1:28 am

s a great honor to be [somehow] recognized. It’s just sad because I was just about to announce that I might not make it to the awards night. *sighs* My PBA acceptance speech has gone into waste. Hey, Ade, lend me that phallic trophy? And Benj, don’t slash your wrists, eh? Thanks for informing me about this, haha. I never would have known. PS: Everyone, thanks so much for the comments on my previous entry. My ex and I broke up more than a year ago. I
By Shari Shari Shari - Shari on March 20, 2007 at 1:42 am

like you lovely people), it’s a great honor to be [somehow] recognized. It’s just sad because I was just about to announce that I might not make it to the awards night. *sighs* My PBA acceptance speech has gone into waste. Hey, Ade, lend me that phallic trophy? And Benj, don’t slash your wrists, eh? Thanks for informing me about this, haha. I never would have known. PS: Everyone, thanks so much for the comments on my previous entry. My ex and I broke up more than a year ago. I’m soooo over it
By Atheista | Sizing Up The Finalists on March 20, 2007 at 7:14 pm

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