Know Your Jologs: The r0kkeRzZzZ \m/

You may have met them at one point or another in your life. They are noisy, annoying, inconsiderate, and just plain ugly. Ladies and gents, meet the jologs. They are probably the most annoying creatures on the face of the earth and it is every man’s dream to put them all in a leaky ocean liner headed for Zanzibar. AND THEN NUKE THE DAMN PLACE!

In this series, I will try to educate you on the different types of jologs and later on teach you how to avoid them, hopefully permanently.

The r0kkeRzZzZ \m/

Look at this fine specimen of jologetry.

This is what we call the r0kkeRzZzZ \m/. No, not ROCKER, because rockers are fine upstanding citizens who get drunk, get stoned, and basically throw their lives away. But they’re geniuses. Some well-known rockers are John Lennon, Ely Buendia, and the like. But r0kkeRzZzZ \m/ are different. They get drunk, get stoned, and basically throw their lives away. And they’re douchebags.

How to spot a r0kkeRzZzZ \m/

You can find r0kkeRzZzZ \m/ in their natural habitat if you go to any rock concert. There you’d find them in black t-shirts (if wearing clothing at all), getting drunk, smoking weed, swaying wildly to the music of Cueshe and 6cyclemind, and throwing those oversized Red Horse bottles around. Once in a while another r0kkeRzZzZ \m/ gets hit by a flying bottle. And of course an altercation happens where they grab their pocket knives and start slashing each other’s necks like the wild animals they are. And they may also slice the neck of an innocent bystander or two as well. LOLZ ensues.

What to do in case of a r0kkeRzZzZ \m/ attack

r0kkeRzZzZ \m/ have been known to be swift and merciless. And sloppy. So if you don’t want r0kkeRzZzZ \m/ juice dripping out of any of your orifices, you must follow these simple steps in order to survive a r0kkeRzZzZ \m/ attack:

• Try to distract the r0kkeRzZzZ \m/ first. Bring out a poster of Spongecola and throw it far, far away.
• Scream “Look, it’s 6cyclemind!”, point behind them, and when they look away, run to safety as fast as possible.
• Do that stupid rock sign with your hands, bob your head up and down wildly, and act like one of them. You’d blend in and they’d forget that they wanted to attack you in the first place.

r0kkeRzZzZ \m/ in the wild

They have been known to cover their faces in shame.

wAtZ uP FuNK?!?!?!

The typical female r0kkeRzZzZ \m/: hot.

Oh dear God, why?!

So ladies and gents, I certainly hope this first part of Know Your Jologs have enlightened you. Don’t worry, I’ll be creating more of this in the coming weeks. Enjoy!

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