OMG is that my beer belly? And I have boobs! I’m so sexay!

- Oscar Wilde on fatties

As I have mentioned here and here, I have been trying to lose weight for the longest time, but with tragic results. After taking a break from losing weight (I needed to regain my composure- and dignity) I have sort of lost control over my increasingly spiraling weight and, well, even my baggy jeans have felt tight. So what do you do in a situation like this?

You lock yourself up in a room, play with your man boobs for a couple of hours and when you get bored, scream your lungs out until you pass out. When you wake up in a pool of your own drool, you look at your reflection in the mirror and you see that you’re still, um, fat.
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Looks like Noelle isn’t the only one having problems going online. However, Noelle’s problems are more systems related while my troubles are more time related. God I miss the internet. I’m falling behind reading my favorite blogs, submitting articles to The Man Blog, and I haven’t even read Annalyn’s email informing me that my interview with Manila Bulletin has been published already!

Ok Ade, so what happened?

Let’s just say I got sucked into an alternate universe where nobody has time to check their email and are forced to answer calls by Americans who can’t find the start button on their computers. We call this alternate universe “reality”.

Um, ok. So what did you do?

I created a new type of ice cream marketed solely at young girls.

I became so filthy rich in that dimension that I regret coming back here.
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