In the light of teh boxing superstar Manny Pacquiao’s awesome victory over Erik Morales, The Noisy Noisy Man (yours truly) was able to catch Manny Pacquiao in a strip club secret location somewhere in Las Vegas and was able to score an exclusive, no-holds-barred interview with him.
Manny Pacquiao, National Hero
Me: Before we go on, let me just tell you how proud I am of your victory.
Pacquiao: Yeah, yeah. Hey, did you see how that stripper grab that beer bottle with her-
Me: Um, look here.
Pacquiao: Man! I would like to get a piece of that-
Me: Look here.
Pacquiao: Oh, oh yeah. Want some ChickenMcDo?
Me: Uh, no. So, tell me, how do you feel over this victory over Morales?
Pacquiao: Of course it’s awesome. No one can stand up to the brunt of my fists. You see, I love fisting. The ladies love the power of my magical left hook!
Me: …
Pacquiao: Now if you stand up and turn your back to me, I’ll demonstrate the power of my mighty fist…
Me: Dude, that’s gross.
Pacquiao: But.. but.. but-
Me: So, when Morales was knocked down and refused to get up again, how did you feel?
Pacquiao: Of course it’s satisfying. Just like eating an entire bucket of Magnolia Ice Cream. You see, I have No Fear. I am teh winnar! After he won by a butt during the first match, it’s time to PWN him really good.
Me: But… but… didn’t you just pwn him during your second match?
Pacquiao: So I did. But it wasn’t good enough. Did you just see the look on his face when he refused to stand up! He needed Alaxan!
Me: Um…
Pacquiao: Also, I should’ve invited him over to my place after the match. We could’ve drank lots of San Miguel Beer afterwards. We’re gonna get drunk and sing on my Extreme Magic Sing!
Me: Um…
Pacquiao: Speaking of that, I’m just gonna do that. I’m gonna call him on my-
Me: Talk n text cellphone?
Pacquiao: You’re good. Hey Erik, wanna drop over at my place, I got beer, chicks and-
Me: Um, there are so many things I want to ask you, so many things you can tell me…
Pacquiao: Listen, do you have a copy of my album? I could give you an autograph.
Me: Huh?
Pacquiao: Ok, my boxing trunks will do then.
Me: But-
Pacquiao: Here we go, an autographed pair of my unwashed trunks from my match! It’s even got the Motolite logo on it.
Me: Um-
Pacquiao: Also, let me just state for the record that I’m not running for any political office. That’ll put those rumors to rest.
Me: That’s nice to hear. I’d rather you be remembered as a boxing star-
Pacquiao: I changed my mind, I’m running. Manila vice mayor, baby!
Me: Uh-
Pacquiao: Listen, I have to go… just get a copy of my bioflick The Manny Pacquiao Story from the lobby, and we’ll be good friends.
DISCLAIMER: This is satire. Please don’t sue me. :(
Incoming search terms for this article:
...and I don't know what I'm doing here.
