An Exclusive Interview with Manny Pacquiao

20 Nov

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In the light of teh boxing superstar Manny Pacquiao’s awesome victory over Erik Morales, The Noisy Noisy Man (yours truly) was able to catch Manny Pacquiao in a strip club secret location somewhere in Las Vegas and was able to score an exclusive, no-holds-barred interview with him.

National Hero
Manny Pacquiao, National Hero

Me: Before we go on, let me just tell you how proud I am of your victory.
Pacquiao: Yeah, yeah. Hey, did you see how that stripper grab that beer bottle with her-
Me: Um, look here.
Pacquiao: Man! I would like to get a piece of that-
Me: Look here.
Pacquiao: Oh, oh yeah. Want some ChickenMcDo?
Me: Uh, no. So, tell me, how do you feel over this victory over Morales?
Pacquiao: Of course it’s awesome. No one can stand up to the brunt of my fists. You see, I love fisting. The ladies love the power of my magical left hook!
Me: …
Pacquiao: Now if you stand up and turn your back to me, I’ll demonstrate the power of my mighty fist…
Me: Dude, that’s gross.
Pacquiao: But.. but.. but-
Me: So, when Morales was knocked down and refused to get up again, how did you feel?
Pacquiao: Of course it’s satisfying. Just like eating an entire bucket of Magnolia Ice Cream. You see, I have No Fear. I am teh winnar! After he won by a butt during the first match, it’s time to PWN him really good.
Me: But… but… didn’t you just pwn him during your second match?
Pacquiao: So I did. But it wasn’t good enough. Did you just see the look on his face when he refused to stand up! He needed Alaxan!
Me: Um…
Pacquiao: Also, I should’ve invited him over to my place after the match. We could’ve drank lots of San Miguel Beer afterwards. We’re gonna get drunk and sing on my Extreme Magic Sing!
Me: Um…
Pacquiao: Speaking of that, I’m just gonna do that. I’m gonna call him on my-
Me: Talk n text cellphone?
Pacquiao: You’re good. Hey Erik, wanna drop over at my place, I got beer, chicks and-
Me: Um, there are so many things I want to ask you, so many things you can tell me…
Pacquiao: Listen, do you have a copy of my album? I could give you an autograph.
Me: Huh?
Pacquiao: Ok, my boxing trunks will do then.
Me: But-
Pacquiao: Here we go, an autographed pair of my unwashed trunks from my match! It’s even got the Motolite logo on it.

Me: Um-
Pacquiao: Also, let me just state for the record that I’m not running for any political office. That’ll put those rumors to rest.
Me: That’s nice to hear. I’d rather you be remembered as a boxing star-
Pacquiao: I changed my mind, I’m running. Manila vice mayor, baby!
Me: Uh-
Pacquiao: Listen, I have to go… just get a copy of my bioflick The Manny Pacquiao Story from the lobby, and we’ll be good friends.

DISCLAIMER: This is satire. Please don’t sue me. :(

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32 Responses to “An Exclusive Interview with Manny Pacquiao”

  1. Poldo 20. Nov, 2006 at 9:30 pm #

    A local newspaper here in Cebu (SunStar) has Manny Pacquiao back in the front page and yes, his butt is still powered by “Motolite“. :mrgreen:

    [Reply]

  2. miss diss 21. Nov, 2006 at 2:13 am #

    how could you forget extreme magic sing, ade???

    [Reply]

  3. ade 21. Nov, 2006 at 3:46 am #

    [quote comment="4130"]how could you forget extreme magic sing, ade???[/quote]

    EGADS! You’re right. Article edited.

    [Reply]

  4. Richmond 21. Nov, 2006 at 10:24 am #

    How about the datu puti suka?

    [Reply]

  5. karenkristie 21. Nov, 2006 at 11:33 am #

    I never thought Manny could speak English so well. LOL! Thanks for dropping by my blog. :)

    [Reply]

  6. confessions from a cheap motel 21. Nov, 2006 at 1:14 pm #

    “Yeah, yeah. Hey, did you see how that stripper grab that beer bottle with her-” -Cubao strippers can do this too hehe

    [Reply]

  7. WiLL 21. Nov, 2006 at 2:03 pm #

    HAHAHAHAHA. Why didn’t you ask how he felt when he learned that his brother lost the crown due to being overweight?

    [Reply]

  8. Kutso 22. Nov, 2006 at 7:57 am #

    [quote comment="4158"]“Yeah, yeah. Hey, did you see how that stripper grab that beer bottle with her-” -Cubao strippers can do this too hehe[/quote]

    Strippers in Vegas don’t do this. LOL

    [Reply]

  9. mr nice ash 22. Nov, 2006 at 12:49 pm #

    did you notice he doesn’t have shoes during the interview? only his ix-pid socks. :)

    [Reply]

  10. Jhed 23. Nov, 2006 at 3:38 am #

    Mehn, are you sure its Manny? He can never speak English that well. LOL.

    [Reply]

  11. ade 23. Nov, 2006 at 1:37 pm #

    [quote comment="4204"]Mehn, are you sure its Manny? He can never speak English that well. LOL.[/quote]

    No shit! It’s Manny! No, really!

    [Reply]

  12. arvin 23. Nov, 2006 at 5:40 pm #

    haaay manny! I’m fed up

    [Reply]

  13. Pinoy Stupid 24. Nov, 2006 at 12:43 am #

    I was hoping you’d turn this into a podcast with a Pacquiao impersonator. I can practically feel the blood coming out of my ears.

    Soon haters are going to come search for Manny Pacquiao on Google and you’ll get them all commenting like crazy. Hahaha. You sux0rZzz LOL.

    [Reply]

  14. ade 24. Nov, 2006 at 10:54 am #

    [quote comment="4247"]I was hoping you’d turn this into a podcast with a Pacquiao impersonator. I can practically feel the blood coming out of my ears.

    Soon haters are going to come search for Manny Pacquiao on Google and you’ll get them all commenting like crazy. Hahaha. You sux0rZzz LOL.[/quote]

    Yeah, a podcast would be nice. I’ll wait until the next match so that it’ll be fresh again. Pacquiao-Morales is getting old already.

    [Reply]

  15. dimaks 25. Nov, 2006 at 10:17 am #

    well.. you know.. hehe

    [Reply]

  16. Neil 25. Nov, 2006 at 4:02 pm #

    Wait… Circulan, Darlington (Ikspid), Magnolia Milk, Thunder(bolt or bird.. wah, that energy drink),

    Dude, you’re so hilarious. It’s my first time to drop on your blog.

    Will be your regular reader. ^_^

    Annyeong!

    [Reply]

  17. aiRah 26. Nov, 2006 at 4:34 pm #

    when i saw that motolite thing, it was a big LOL!

    & the rest, astig ade. hehe..

    have a nice day! *hugs*

    cheers,
    aiRah

    [Reply]

  18. benj 27. Nov, 2006 at 3:24 am #

    SHAME ON YOU!

    Manny Pacquiao is the inspiration of MILLIONS of Filipinos all over the world. He’s the reason why people with cancer continue to live despite the odds. He has single-handedly lifted national morale in the face of many controversies and scandals that has rocked our nation.

    Shame on you and to everyone else who found your dastardly post funny.

    MANNY PACQUIAO FOR 2010!!!
    LABAN NATIN ITO!!!!

    —-
    may kaengotang ginagawa yung comment thingie. pinapa-add parin yung numbers kahit di na lumalabas yung textbox na yun for return users. nawala tuloy original comment ko. huhuhu

    [Reply]

  19. benj 27. Nov, 2006 at 3:28 am #

    SHAME ON YOU!

    Manny Pacquiao is the inspiration of MILLIONS of Filipinos all over the world. He’s the reason why people with cancer continue to live despite the odds. He has single-handedly lifted national morale in the face of many controversies and scandals that has rocked our nation.

    Shame on you and to everyone else who found your dastardly post funny.

    MANNY PACQUIAO FOR 2010!!!
    LABAN NATIN ITO!!!!

    [Reply]

  20. chelsea 29. Nov, 2006 at 8:04 am #

    who cares about grammar when yer a billionair?

    [Reply]

  21. Noelle 30. Nov, 2006 at 3:24 pm #

    I wanted Morales to win this time around, for some inexplicable reason. Heh.

    [Reply]

  22. bob 24. Aug, 2008 at 4:20 am #

    nice one. lol. pre patulong naman kng d ka busy. :D

    [Reply]

  23. Arrielle Green 12. Nov, 2008 at 5:41 pm #

    nice..
    pacquiao ang galing mo talaga sa boxing..

    [Reply]

  24. missgiftsphilippines 06. Aug, 2009 at 1:31 pm #

    This is super funny. I keep imagining how it would sound if Manny actually said these things.

    [Reply]

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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    number one place where you can get your daily fix of retard, Noisy Noisy Man. December 22 is Global Orgasm Day – Want to contribute to world peace but don’t have time nor the inclination? Well, with Global Orgasm Day, you can participate all you want!An Exclusive Interview with Manny Pacquiao – I tracked the PacMan down in Las Vegas and got a no-holds-barred one-on-one interview with him!Pesky Christmas Carolers? – Can’t celebrate the love and joy of Christmas because of those pesky street urchins? Me too.

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