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An Exclusive Interview with Manny Pacquiao

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In the light of teh boxing superstar Manny Pacquiao’s awesome victory over Erik Morales, The Noisy Noisy Man (yours truly) was able to catch Manny Pacquiao in a strip club secret location somewhere in Las Vegas and was able to score an exclusive, no-holds-barred interview with him.

National Hero
Manny Pacquiao, National Hero

Me: Before we go on, let me just tell you how proud I am of your victory.
Pacquiao: Yeah, yeah. Hey, did you see how that stripper grab that beer bottle with her-
Me: Um, look here.
Pacquiao: Man! I would like to get a piece of that-
Me: Look here.
Pacquiao: Oh, oh yeah. Want some ChickenMcDo?
Me: Uh, no. So, tell me, how do you feel over this victory over Morales?
Pacquiao: Of course it’s awesome. No one can stand up to the brunt of my fists. You see, I love fisting. The ladies love the power of my magical left hook!
Me: …
Pacquiao: Now if you stand up and turn your back to me, I’ll demonstrate the power of my mighty fist…
Me: Dude, that’s gross.
Pacquiao: But.. but.. but-
Me: So, when Morales was knocked down and refused to get up again, how did you feel?
Pacquiao: Of course it’s satisfying. Just like eating an entire bucket of Magnolia Ice Cream. You see, I have No Fear. I am teh winnar! After he won by a butt during the first match, it’s time to PWN him really good.
Me: But… but… didn’t you just pwn him during your second match?
Pacquiao: So I did. But it wasn’t good enough. Did you just see the look on his face when he refused to stand up! He needed Alaxan!
Me: Um…
Pacquiao: Also, I should’ve invited him over to my place after the match. We could’ve drank lots of San Miguel Beer afterwards. We’re gonna get drunk and sing on my Extreme Magic Sing!
Me: Um…
Pacquiao: Speaking of that, I’m just gonna do that. I’m gonna call him on my-
Me: Talk n text cellphone?
Pacquiao: You’re good. Hey Erik, wanna drop over at my place, I got beer, chicks and-
Me: Um, there are so many things I want to ask you, so many things you can tell me…
Pacquiao: Listen, do you have a copy of my album? I could give you an autograph.
Me: Huh?
Pacquiao: Ok, my boxing trunks will do then.
Me: But-
Pacquiao: Here we go, an autographed pair of my unwashed trunks from my match! It’s even got the Motolite logo on it.

Me: Um-
Pacquiao: Also, let me just state for the record that I’m not running for any political office. That’ll put those rumors to rest.
Me: That’s nice to hear. I’d rather you be remembered as a boxing star-
Pacquiao: I changed my mind, I’m running. Manila vice mayor, baby!
Me: Uh-
Pacquiao: Listen, I have to go… just get a copy of my bioflick The Manny Pacquiao Story from the lobby, and we’ll be good friends.

DISCLAIMER: This is satire. Please don’t sue me. :(

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23 Comments

  1. Poldo, November 20, 2006:

    A local newspaper here in Cebu (SunStar) has Manny Pacquiao back in the front page and yes, his butt is still powered by “Motolite“. :mrgreen:

    Click to Reply

  2. miss diss, November 21, 2006:

    how could you forget extreme magic sing, ade???

    Click to Reply

  3. ade, November 21, 2006:

    [quote comment="4130"]how could you forget extreme magic sing, ade???[/quote]

    EGADS! You’re right. Article edited.

    Click to Reply

  4. Richmond, November 21, 2006:

    How about the datu puti suka?

    Click to Reply

  5. karenkristie, November 21, 2006:

    I never thought Manny could speak English so well. LOL! Thanks for dropping by my blog. :)

    Click to Reply

  6. confessions from a cheap motel, November 21, 2006:

    “Yeah, yeah. Hey, did you see how that stripper grab that beer bottle with her-” -Cubao strippers can do this too hehe

    Click to Reply

  7. WiLL, November 21, 2006:

    HAHAHAHAHA. Why didn’t you ask how he felt when he learned that his brother lost the crown due to being overweight?

    Click to Reply

  8. Kutso, November 22, 2006:

    [quote comment="4158"]“Yeah, yeah. Hey, did you see how that stripper grab that beer bottle with her-” -Cubao strippers can do this too hehe[/quote]

    Strippers in Vegas don’t do this. LOL

    Click to Reply

  9. mr nice ash, November 22, 2006:

    did you notice he doesn’t have shoes during the interview? only his ix-pid socks. :)

    Click to Reply

  10. Jhed, November 23, 2006:

    Mehn, are you sure its Manny? He can never speak English that well. LOL.

    Click to Reply

  11. ade, November 23, 2006:

    [quote comment="4204"]Mehn, are you sure its Manny? He can never speak English that well. LOL.[/quote]

    No shit! It’s Manny! No, really!

    Click to Reply

  12. arvin, November 23, 2006:

    haaay manny! I’m fed up

    Click to Reply

  13. Pinoy Stupid, November 24, 2006:

    I was hoping you’d turn this into a podcast with a Pacquiao impersonator. I can practically feel the blood coming out of my ears.

    Soon haters are going to come search for Manny Pacquiao on Google and you’ll get them all commenting like crazy. Hahaha. You sux0rZzz LOL.

    Click to Reply

  14. ade, November 24, 2006:

    [quote comment="4247"]I was hoping you’d turn this into a podcast with a Pacquiao impersonator. I can practically feel the blood coming out of my ears.

    Soon haters are going to come search for Manny Pacquiao on Google and you’ll get them all commenting like crazy. Hahaha. You sux0rZzz LOL.[/quote]

    Yeah, a podcast would be nice. I’ll wait until the next match so that it’ll be fresh again. Pacquiao-Morales is getting old already.

    Click to Reply

  15. dimaks, November 25, 2006:

    well.. you know.. hehe

    Click to Reply

  16. Neil, November 25, 2006:

    Wait… Circulan, Darlington (Ikspid), Magnolia Milk, Thunder(bolt or bird.. wah, that energy drink),

    Dude, you’re so hilarious. It’s my first time to drop on your blog.

    Will be your regular reader. ^_^

    Annyeong!

    Click to Reply

  17. aiRah, November 26, 2006:

    when i saw that motolite thing, it was a big LOL!

    & the rest, astig ade. hehe..

    have a nice day! *hugs*

    cheers,
    aiRah

    Click to Reply

  18. benj, November 27, 2006:

    SHAME ON YOU!

    Manny Pacquiao is the inspiration of MILLIONS of Filipinos all over the world. He’s the reason why people with cancer continue to live despite the odds. He has single-handedly lifted national morale in the face of many controversies and scandals that has rocked our nation.

    Shame on you and to everyone else who found your dastardly post funny.

    MANNY PACQUIAO FOR 2010!!!
    LABAN NATIN ITO!!!!

    —-
    may kaengotang ginagawa yung comment thingie. pinapa-add parin yung numbers kahit di na lumalabas yung textbox na yun for return users. nawala tuloy original comment ko. huhuhu

    Click to Reply

  19. benj, November 27, 2006:

    SHAME ON YOU!

    Manny Pacquiao is the inspiration of MILLIONS of Filipinos all over the world. He’s the reason why people with cancer continue to live despite the odds. He has single-handedly lifted national morale in the face of many controversies and scandals that has rocked our nation.

    Shame on you and to everyone else who found your dastardly post funny.

    MANNY PACQUIAO FOR 2010!!!
    LABAN NATIN ITO!!!!

    Click to Reply

  20. chelsea, November 29, 2006:

    who cares about grammar when yer a billionair?

    Click to Reply

  21. Noelle, November 30, 2006:

    I wanted Morales to win this time around, for some inexplicable reason. Heh.

    Click to Reply

  22. bob, August 24, 2008:

    nice one. lol. pre patulong naman kng d ka busy. :D

    Click to Reply

  23. Arrielle Green, November 12, 2008:

    nice..
    pacquiao ang galing mo talaga sa boxing..

    Click to Reply

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