More Search Terms That Make Me Cringe

Posted by Ade

October 21, 2006

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Hello, ladies and gents! It’s that time again where I check my statistics and roundup the weirdest and creepiest search terms that led to my blog. I’ve done this before, and it scared me to death.

Eventually, reading through all these creepy search terms will lead me to doubt the mental health of my visitors and I will be so paranoid until I will shut this blog down and cut off all ties to the world.

And here we go, Creepy Search Terms Roundup Two:

how fat am i - very. Go away. Go live in some pet boarding house or whatever. Just go away.
willie revillame scandal - um, why? You wanna see Willie Revillame’s, um, willie?
batman spanking robin - no…. Batman’s not gay!
can someone give me bang bus password? - I don’t have ‘em but I’m sure Steel has a steady supply.
alamat ng gamit - wha-huh?
hotdog philippines sharing - I certainly hope this isn’t what I think it is.
david hassellhoff naked with puppies - First it was Willie Revillame, now it’s the Hoff? What is this, creepy guy appreciation day?
kiko matsing pics - I don’t have ‘em, but I do have a nice Jolibee video for you… [Thanks Pik Pak Bum!]
in my swimming class one boy has man boobs - At least you don’t have them. Quit whining.
retard porn - This. Just. Left. Me. Speechless.
sam milby penis - Oh Dear Lord, what did I ever do to deserve this punishment?

And those so far are the creepiest of the lot. Now excuse me while I put a straitjacket on, lock myself up in a padded room, and go into the fetal position while I suck my thumb.

Do you get weird search terms?

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15 Comments

jhay said on October 21, 2006: Quote

Hahaha! It’s the rule of alchemy, what you give out you recieve in return. More retards! :D

PS, you’re back online. New host? or still the old crappy one?

[Reply]
helga said on October 21, 2006: Quote

willie revillame scandal
Whoashet, I better start scouting tiangges for that scandal o_o

[Reply]
benj said on October 21, 2006: Quote

This is what SEO does for you, I guess. haha

[Reply]
ralphot said on October 21, 2006: Quote

i’m actually one of those that searched for willie revillame scandal.

crap, now my secret’s out. damn yous, ade!

[Reply]
Talamasca said on October 21, 2006: Quote

That photo is just priceless.

I think it’s supposed to be alamat ng gamete. ;-p

[Reply]
ianuarius said on October 22, 2006: Quote

It could have been much worse…

[Reply]
benj said on October 22, 2006: Quote

Ade, Pyro met Batista three days ago. Have you heard?

[Reply]
jaywalker said on October 22, 2006: Quote

retard porn sounds strangely interesting

[Reply]
WiLL said on October 23, 2006: Quote

The only search term from my stats that made me raise an eyebrow is “so-en billboards.”

Good to see your blog is up again, btw. Ever thought of changing hosts? My host gives me about 16GB of traffic a month. I can only use about 65 MB. Heh. Not SEO. :)

[Reply]
Jaypee said on October 23, 2006: Quote

wow, those are really weird search strings. just like what jhay said, you sow what you reap. hehe. anyways, the most worst search terms i got were “pictures of circumsion” and “circumsion”. btw, both search strings are guilty of misspelling.

[Reply]
benj said on October 23, 2006: Quote

here are the weird ones on my list:

cass dark underarm - seriously?

amazingly, a lot of the other terms are full names of my friends who either topped the recent board exams or won a recent debate tilt.

How atheism occur in the Philippines - No surprises there. I have to optimize my site to be top result for atheism searches. hehe

[Reply]
jaja said on October 24, 2006: Quote

sam milby penis…roflmao!wat for?

[Reply]
jaja said on October 24, 2006: Quote

i just pissed on my pants!this is hilarious!

[Reply]
cigarette_girl said on October 26, 2006: Quote

so here’s plenty kinds of porn… have i missed out alot! hehehe

[Reply]
Devilicious said on October 27, 2006: Quote

alamat ng gamit????? wtf?? hahahaha!!!

Hmmm.. havent encountered such weird search terms..nah..not yet.. thank god!

Wel.. ugh.. except for “playboy pinay playmates” and “madam auring”

nyets.

[Reply]