Hello, dear reader, and as you are reading this, I am bored out of my wits because I just realized that I need to gets a life. You see, I spend way too much time on teh intrarwebs and it’s well, scaring me. And my dog.
This is not my dog.
You may think that since I am already a rock star, my life would consist of me lying down in bed and becoming a luxurious slab of fat while my accountants dump money at my bedside and my bodyguards would keep Maria Ozawa tied up to my bedpost.
Maria Ozawa
Unfortunately, that isn’t so. My life consists of me sitting in front of a computer becoming a luxurious pile of fat while I look for Maria Ozawa pictures on the interweb. During company time. That is why I can’t update often. Also, I have an ugly mulletted guy tied to my bedpost.
Ugly Man with Mullet
I’ve been spending lots of time posting totally unfunny jokes on my blog, and I do apologize for that. I promise from now on I will post more sensible stuff. You know, things like politics, ramen, religion, Korean soap operas and other gay stuff. [ DAMMIT! SORRY ROB! UNINTENTIONAL, I TELL YA! ] Because I’m profound like that.
But of course, I can’t really start posting sensible things if EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH ME. So I need to start exorcising the retardness from me. And spending a week away from the interweb would be a great option, wouldn’t it? I’d unplug the computer, turn my cellphone off, and also stay away from all things digital. So what would I do during that awesome week of tech cold turkey?
I’d head over to the nearest net cafe during the first five minutes of my sabbath and spend five hours surfing the web.
Ok. Not a good idea.
Maybe books can actually snap me out of my web addiction. So I look around, looking for a good read when I saw this literary gem:
Blatantly stolen from TMB.
Um, why do I keep on seeing gay jokes everywhere?
So I decided to talk to my good friend Krystal, who always seems to know the right thing to say at the right time.
me: the man blog is making me gay
krystal: does reese know about this?
krystal: hmm…in all fairness, you do not register in my gay-dar.
krystal: nope…my expert gay-dar vision says your still straight.
krystal: don’t worry
me: yay for straightness
me: now i can have sex with men with a clean conscience
krystal: …
me: what?
*krystal has logged out of the chat session*
me: hello?
me: krystal?
me: I WAS JUST JOKING MY GAHWD!!11111oneoneone
Ok, I think my addiction to the internet and gay jokes can be cured by religion. So I start looking for God. Oh god, where are you?
Awesome.
If this entry doesn’t make any sense to you, I just came back from working for eight days straight. Cut me some slack. And that’s all I wanted to say. Now I go back to work:
OMG, I don’t have my dignity anymore. I need plastic surgery in Toronto to hide my identity.
Apologies to Jason Mulgrew for the title.
OK. I’m done. Comment away.
34 Comments
hahaha. id choose reon kadena over maria ozawa anytime, though it sucks that the former doesnt have any “adult” movies. hehehe.
okay, back to slave mode.
[Click to Reply]
It’s really funny how work keeps someone away from civilization. :-p
[Click to Reply]
e kung ganon GAY ka na ngayon? :-)
[Click to Reply]
Hey, it’s all in the mind..
u dont look Gay.. dont worry..
well.. YOU DON’T LOOK THAT GAY yet..
[Click to Reply]
First it was Barbara Streisand, now it’s homosexuality. You better get some rest, God knows what you’ll come up with next. :)
[Click to Reply]
ade…(meaningfully looks into your eyes)…(pause)…(another interstellar pause)…(starts to lean forward but at the last minute decides to hold back)…(clears throat and says in a deep voice) pare, you’re not gay…
(rolls in laughter)
[Click to Reply]
dude… welcome to our club!!!
oh, by the way, you can have my boyfriend tied up to your bedpost if you want to…
[Click to Reply]
I’ll strangle you with my belt if you don’t stop being gay! You know I’m homophobic.
Also, the sexy mullet guy looks, uhm…yummy!
[Click to Reply]
looking for maria ozawa?
she’s indisposed. she’s tied up to MY bed.
[Click to Reply]
[Comment ID #2965 Will Be Quoted Here]
Oh noes! No wonder I had to settle for Mullet Guy!
[Click to Reply]
OMFG! Mullet Guy is soooo in demand!
[Click to Reply]
maria ozaaawaa…. yeyeyeyeyeyeeee
[Click to Reply]
I need to gets a life ? (pardon me, it’s an oc thing.)
There’s nothing wrong about being gay, especially if you’re yummy hot! Girls won’t mind your sexual preference and still hit on you. ;)
[Click to Reply]
[Comment ID #3009 Will Be Quoted Here]
Unfortunately, I’m neither gay NOR hot. Damn. :(
Also,
“I needs to get a life.”
Typo fixed.
[Click to Reply]
I linked you up. I posted something about Dash Media (again). Im sure youll love the demotivators.
[Click to Reply]
Don’t worry, I think Rob is on a blogging and surfing hiatus so he’s not likely to have seen your little faux-pas.
Or maybe he’s planning some major pwnage. I dunno. LOL
[Click to Reply]
hi ade, thanks for dropping by the site. am doin fine, about you? oh, as you said, everything is wrong with you! :)
gibbs
[Click to Reply]
Inflation rates going up…normal.
Gas prices going up…normal.
Ade not making fun of anything and is now making sense…HUWAAAAT?!!!
[Click to Reply]
How about waking up to reality once in a while?
[Click to Reply]
hahaha. kaaliw post mo. maganda blogging as outlet, ngayon marami kang napangiti sa post mo, di ka na ma bo bore.
[Click to Reply]
Hey, I thought I told you it’s secret! is this what i get for not lending you My Name is Kim Sam Soon II or not going out for ramen the other night?!
Now this explains my blog’s sudden hit rise. Or a punishment for not bloghopping too much these days.
[Comment ID #3033 Will Be Quoted Here]
I’ve actually seen this post on my RSS reader but failed to read it due to thesis.
[Click to Reply]
you don’t sound like a gay, you sound more like a tranny. hahahahha!!!!!!!!1111oneoneone
[Click to Reply]
heya ade! i love gay people lol
[Click to Reply]
[Comment ID #3046 Will Be Quoted Here]
Oh noes! Me so dead!!1111oneoneone
[Comment ID #3124 Will Be Quoted Here]
Argh!
[Click to Reply]
And if we vote and TMB doesnt win? =p
[Click to Reply]
(I AM A FUCKING DITZ)
Again: and if we vote and TMB doesnt win? =p
[Click to Reply]
^ Let me have this one. If you vote and TMB won’t win, ade will become your man-servant for an entire month. Sounds fair, doesn’t it?
[Click to Reply]
^I GO VOTE FOR TMB NOW.
[Click to Reply]
[quote comment="3184"]^I GO VOTE FOR TMB NOW.[/quote]
Awesome! you may also want to check out the TMB Forum.
[quote comment="3169"]^ Let me have this one. If you vote and TMB won’t win, ade will become your man-servant for an entire month. Sounds fair, doesn’t it?[/quote]
Hey! Waitttaminute!
um… ok.
[Click to Reply]
@Helga: Seeing that ade is having second thoughts in becoming your man-slave, I’ll happily pose as a substitute. I can guard your front gate and bark at bypassers and still have the energy to clean your toilet afterwards.
[Click to Reply]
[quote comment="3186"]@Helga: Seeing that ade is having second thoughts in becoming your man-slave, I’ll happily pose as a substitute. I can guard your front gate and bark at bypassers and still have the energy to clean your toilet afterwards.[/quote]
I volunteer for the barking thing. You stick with cleaning the toilet.
Also, this is the wrong post for this conversation. I’m just sayin’.
[Click to Reply]
umm…. very… umm.. very interesting entry *sweats*
[Click to Reply]
I am somewhat surprised with the first pic. Is it some sort of a tradition in some certain tribes in Africa`?
[Click to Reply]
LoL funny post, specially having maria ozawa tied to your bed post lol
[Click to Reply]
5 Trackbacks
[...] of living. Ever. You see, I have no life. Sure, I have a band, am a self-proclaimed rock star, am ambigiously gay absolutely manly, am a total asshole, but my life is nothing but 23 years of wasted oxygen. I mean, I have goals but [...]