Noisy, Noisy Man

dear dth

lonl3y_gurl

Dear lonl3y_gurl,

I would like to offer you any sort of help but your inability to use the shift key and to locate the punctuation marks on your keyboard irks me. I suggest you use a newly-sharpened butcher’s knife to slice your neck cleanly instead. Make sure you slice deeply enough to cut your air passage as well. That would be nice if you do it within five minutes upon reading this post. Thank you, and have a great day.

Read the rest of this entry »

When Harry Potter fans take things a little too far…

That bottomless pile of paperwork leers at you from across your desk like some perverted monster. You’ve been buried from the neck down since morning from all those spreadsheets you’ve been trying to finish. Somewhere between Form 71-A and Chart 25-C, your boss screams that he needs to see the MOA because he’s leaving the office in five minutes to close the deal that you have been negotiating for the last seven months. If you don’t give it, you’re fired. As you prepare to print the 72-page document, your PC suddenly makes a weird humming noise and your screen goes blank.

Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve started on a new job a few weeks ago, and my schedule has been so hectic that all I’ve been able to do online is to check my email every now and then. I’ve missed blogging like hell, but the forced hiatus gave me time to actually think about my life and focus on my goals for a change.

Yep, this is one of those life-changing episodes they always talk about. I’ve started to plan for my future. These are the things I want to become in a few years from now:

Blog Celebrity

Job Description:
Basically, I’ll just inhabit my parents’ basement, sit in front of the computer the whole day, get fat, and write stuff about politics, religion, man boobs, and ugly people on my blog. And I’d be just as famous as the venereal, err, venerable Mike Villar.

Read the rest of this entry »