Search Terms That Make Me Cringe
18 May
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In case you don’t know (or care), I’m using this wonderful WordPress Plugin, called WP-ShortStat, that helps me find out who’s visiting my blog, what website they come from, and if they found my site from a search engine, what search words they used.
I was checking my shortstat the other day and I was disturbed, even concerned, about the welfare and mental health of some of my visitors. A quick glance at the search strings gave me the creeps:
- male with hug cock – What. The. Hell?
- celebrity man cock – The sad thing is, they’re finding my site through Italian search engines. REPEATEDLY.
- schoolgay – Yep, I have a clear idea of your sexual fetishes… Now go away.
- cow poop images – Lovely.
- ask a retard – Ooh yeah, like a retard will give you grrrrrrrreat answers to your questions…
- retard fishing – But… What is it in the first place?
- super blinkies – What, ordinary blinkies ain’t enough for you?
- willie revillame ’s home address – I hate his guts too, but do you actually need to look for his home to shut him up? Also, do you think he’d post his home address on the internet?!
- david hasselhoff downloads – What’ll you download? Hoff Soap?
- ridiculous quotes from david hasselhoff – You don’t need quotes. You just need to look at his pictures to know how ridiculous he is. And the weird thing is that this is a REPEAT search string.
- batman retard – This just defies logic.
- what dose addams like to do at the karaoke – Who dose what where? Huh?
- fat boy man boobs – Uh-huh. N-nice.
- man cock – This is not a pretty picture.
- fat nudist of men – Seriously, people who have a long history of mental illness and disturbing fetishes should be banned from using the internet.
I am sure glad that most of my readers are normal. Do you guys get weird visitors as well? Maybe you won’t mind telling me your stories.
Technorati Tags: search strings, disturbing, weird, retarded, humor, wordpress
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Incoming search terms for the article:
josh
Jhay
Abby
RJ
Mark
Abby (1)
Adobofy (1)
Beejing (1)
doesntmatter (1)
eRLyN (1)
Helga (1)
jepoy (1)
Jhay (1)
josh (1)
lars (1)
Hey, thanks for the plugin info. I only use performancing.com’s metrics system and google analytics. This one’s good.
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hey, saan naman sila napupunta kapag nasearch ang site mo? hehe ang entries? haha
gamit ko rin yang plugin na yan, ganda talaga. Ang mga search strings na madalas eh magmahal muli chords at eurostar carnival pati ang world pyro olympics.. Meron namang mangilan-ilan na nagsearch ng “kahit ano”, weird talaga. meron ding “nakakaapekto sa pagaaral ng estudyante” hehe natawa talaga ako..
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mga bagong search strings
“kwentong me aral” – tsk tsk me?
“mga sagot sa panaginip” – man, english ang gamitin mo, makakahanap ka ng sagot
“latest bangbus password may 2006″ – haha feel niya naman may makikita siyang password sa site ko na pang bangbus haha.
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Yung sa akin:
bayag bata
bayag
banduria notes
orange and lemons boyband
pinoy ako soundtrack similar to the care music
Korean madness
how to write a jr. high “mvp speech”
Malupit ang ShortStat!!! Hahaha
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Yes, I receive those too through a different stat plug-in: kwentong pangbata, makati scandal, bakit gusto ng Pilipino pumuti, mga kwentong hubad, how do you pronounce Ng, ako mag ano try ko (?!). Weird people.
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weird!! hmmmmmmmmmm…… at dahil diyan nag-install na din ako ng shortstat ko! yehey!
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Better to have weird, psycho visitors than none at all. Hehe. :D
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Oh! I once had a Google referrer, Pc Magnaye yung string. Someone’s stalking your sister, wahahahaha.
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when i was still in blogspot, ( and even until now!) i do get weird search keywords like,:
bacolod scandal
piolo scandal
troy mentero scandal
ethel booba scandal
makati scandal
san beda scandal
euthanasia
girlfriends of jose rizal
ang weird… hinahayaan ko na lang sila..
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baka dahil sa post mo na “The Clueless Wonders of the Blogosphere” kaya lumabas ang site mo gamit ang search string na “super blinkies”….
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Search engines think you are seksi! That was corny.
So far, ayon sa extremetracker ko, hindi pa naman umabot sa ganyan kalala ang search terms ko. Usually name ko ang search term
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“I am sure glad most of my readers are normal.”
Heh. Really now? :p
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david hasselhoff? buhay pa pala yun. may fans pa sya?!?!?!
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ahhh… ang peyborit ko na search term na lumanding sa blog ko ay “Alamat ng Tae” Ikekwento niya siguro sa kindergarten class niya…
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Hahahaha, I like “willie revillame ’s home address”.
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Whoa, those are pretty weird. I usually get searches of famous people I’ve blogged about before.
Hats off for the plugin (wp-shortstat) tip! :)
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…Ayos. Masubukan nga. :laughs:
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at least mayaman sa keywords ang blog mo, hehehe
hindi lang basta keywords, kakaibang kumbinasyon ng mga keywords! asteeg! hehehe
[Reply]
alam ko super layo nito..
may game pala na flying spaghetti monster. haha
flying spaghetti monster game
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meron dn akong ganyan plugin kc naka wordpress dn ako pro dko alam panu gamitin hehe. d naman kc ako gumawa ng site ko, taga lagay lng ako ng entry, panu ba malaman yang mga visitors????
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Hahaha.. thanks to those search engines! Oks lang yan.. atleast u need not exert effort just to gain traffic db?
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congratulations, your site’s special. ha ha. now i wonder what leads people to my blog. hmmm… i hope we wouldn’t share a similar fate when i find out. ha ha. :)
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I found your site using the ff keywords:
- Banana split
- Spoonfed monkeys
- David hasselhoff in action OMG Im so gay lolololzzz!
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god, they are cringe-worthy! and very scary. i wonder how is it with my blog.
[Reply]
Haha.
Weird but funny keywords.
And I agree with you dun kay David Hasselhoff! :P
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>_> schoolgay
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that’s because your blog contains really “interesting” stuff. really interesting. haha!
apparently you’re like magnet to those weirdos out there.
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whoa, ang weird naman ng mga search terms. and these lead to you! wtf.
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Thank goodness I’m already getting pretty “wholesome” search terms lately. Hehehehe
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lol. aliw. kaya nga tinanggal ko na yan eh. ang ipinalit ko naman ay wp-stat. hehehe.
more reliable pa ang site meter pag dating sa entry and exit links na galing sa search engines.
anywhooooooo. got my email?
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dagdag pa ako ng keywords: pussy cat, hotdogs. hehehehe.
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lol @ fat boy man boobs
– Uh-huh. N-nice. (imagin those boos)
hahaha
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Haha!
Fat. Boys. Nudist. Gay. Dose? O_O
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I was supposed to write an entry about this. But other things came up. Hehe.
God, your search key words are amazing! Cock, cock and more cock! LOL!
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your posts never fail to amuse me. :P
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Wow. And I thought I had weird search terms leading to my site.. David Hasselhoff HAHAHA
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Hi.. I downloaded it. Now what? How? Lol. Sorry.
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I was going to install that plugin but now I am wondering if it might be too much information for me. LOL
David’s last blog post..Big Lake Fun With Lake Erie Fishing Charters
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