Noisy Noisy Man | pinoy funny website, blog, jokes, comedy, humor, reviews | your daily dose of retard

This is exactly why I am not a fan of “The Da Vinci Code”. Read article here.

In case you don’t know (or care), I’m using this wonderful WordPress Plugin, called WP-ShortStat, that helps me find out who’s visiting my blog, what website they come from, and if they found my site from a search engine, what search words they used.

I was checking my shortstat the other day and I was disturbed, even concerned, about the welfare and mental health of some of my visitors. A quick glance at the search strings gave me the creeps:

• male with hug cock – What. The. Hell?
• celebrity man cock – The sad thing is, they’re finding my site through Italian search engines. REPEATEDLY.
• schoolgay – Yep, I have a clear idea of your sexual fetishes… Now go away.
• cow poop images – Lovely.
• ask a retard – Ooh yeah, like a retard will give you grrrrrrrreat answers to your questions…
• retard fishing – But… What is it in the first place?
• super blinkies – What, ordinary blinkies ain’t enough for you?
• willie revillame ’s home address – I hate his guts too, but do you actually need to look for his home to shut him up? Also, do you think he’d post his home address on the internet?!
• david hasselhoff downloads – What’ll you download? Hoff Soap?
• ridiculous quotes from david hasselhoff – You don’t need quotes. You just need to look at his pictures to know how ridiculous he is. And the weird thing is that this is a REPEAT search string.
• batman retard – This just defies logic.
• what dose addams like to do at the karaoke – Who dose what where? Huh?
• fat boy man boobs – Uh-huh. N-nice.
• man cock – This is not a pretty picture.
• fat nudist of men – Seriously, people who have a long history of mental illness and disturbing fetishes should be banned from using the internet.

I am sure glad that most of my readers are normal. Do you guys get weird visitors as well? Maybe you won’t mind telling me your stories.

Technorati Tags: search strings, disturbing, weird, retarded, humor, wordpress

AAAAAAAAA!!! I MISSED THE 9 RULES SUBMISSION ROUND!

After that unsuccessful attempt to lose weight a few weeks back, I decided to give myself a break for a while. But contrary to what I put in the last entry, I haven’t given up on losing weight. In fact, I’ve been finding more ways to be thin, and that equals more failures. Sigh.

As I have been an average-sized (take note: I said average, not svelte) person a few months back, I believe I am qualified to ask this question: “What the hell happened?”

Maybe it’s the sleeping marathons. Or the endless bags of potato chips. With cream cheese. Or the utter lack of motivation to exercise. Or the urge to dress like SailorMoon. Either way, I have turned myself into one useless pile of fat.

So here I am, doing my best to lose weight once again. Read on and laugh at my pathetic attempts (and my subsequent failures) to lose weight.

***
Plan # 4:
Slimming Tea

So I’ve been warned by people not to take slimming teas. But I do want to lose weight, so I gave it a try.

My mom keeps a stack of slimming teas somewhere in the kitchen. I have no idea why she never touched it. Oh, yeah, she doesn’t need it. She’s not fat anyway. So I grabbed a teabag and dumped it into my cup of hot water. Ok. So I’ve heard that it will cause some really evil diarrhea, but I’m doing this so you guys can laugh at my misfortunes.

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