Noisy, Noisy Man | Your daily dose of retard | funny website

:(

Reese, my girlfriend, left for L.A. today. She’ll be there for a month. I miss her already.

The Many Uses of Bananaque

*Apologies to Franz for taking too long to write this.

We all know bananaque as that delicious street treat that we often find salivating over. Who can blame you? It’s easy to get seduced by the bananaque’s many charms: the melted sugar coating, the ripe and tasty banana, deep fried, and skewered on a stick (If you have a penchant for men, I’m so sorry if that last sentence turned you on).

But did you know that bananaque can be used in more ways than one can imagine? I have done some serious pondering over the metaphysical existence of the bananaque (I was also working; hi boss!) and there is indeed more to the bananaque than eating it (and giving you a bad case of constipation afterwards). If Shawarma can test your survival skills, and Pasta is worshipped, the bananaque can save lives. It can be used as a weapon of war and terror. It can lead to more destruction than The Steaming Shawarma of Death and the wrath of the Flying Spaghetti Monster combined.

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Honorable Mention

Thanks to Jhay for the special mention of yours truly in his blog. I thought people come to read my blog only to make fun of me.

Blogger’s Block: Brainwave Desperately Needed

If you’ve noticed, I’m having a drought of posts that are, well, coherent. My posts are either half-baked attempts to be funny or just plain lame. I’m talking lameness up to the  point of being retarded. Yes, I’m always bragging that this here blog is “Your Daily Dose of Retard“, but you wouldn’t be reading REALLY retarded blogs, won’t you?

Wait, don’t answer that question. I honestly don’t know what I’ll do if you answer with “Why yes, I love to read REALLY retarded blogs. In fact, your blog is a great example.”

I don’t think I should be posting right now, because I know I’m just posting more lameness than what is legally allowed, but I just have to post this for sanity’s sake.

Thing is, I’ve been suffering from a bad case of Blogger’s Block lately. As in the “make you stop in the middle of writing and hate yourself and your ancestors for five generations straight for your worthless writing skills” type. I’ve been trying real hard to rack my brains for a really good topic, but the best I could come up with is that entry on Karaoke. And that painfully unfunny “I’m Back/HAX0R” post.

And don’t you tell me that it’s just a blog, and that I’ll get over it. You see, according to the picture of the creepy smiling guy on the right, Teh Internets is Serious Business. Indeed.

But really, if my writing is the only one that’s affected, I wouldn’t be too worried. But somehow my motor & comprehension skills all seem to have been flushed down the toilet. I’d often hear things wrong, and it has caused profound grief to those at the other end of the conversation:
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Scary Blogger

Blogger arrested for Murder in Oklahoma: Scary. Really scary. Now I have to keep an eye on all of you emos.

DIY Animals

DIY Animals: This is just beyond weird.

Down the Highway - An Advice Column for Emos - 2

Dear DtH,

- xxEmoBoi78xx

Dear xxEmoBoi78xx,

You make me proud. Just keep on hating yourself, the world, and all other crap out there. If you work hard enough, they’ll pity you, I’m sure. What they’ll do with a loser like you I’m not sure. But I’m sure that you’ll get a mighty fine scar on your wrists that’ll scream “NUTCASE”. That’s gonna be a fine trophy to carry for the rest of your life.
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