Down the Highway - An Advice Column for Emos - 2

Posted by Ade

April 13, 2006

If you're new here, you may get your daily dose of retard by subscribing to my RSS feed!

Dear DtH,

I have never been in a relationship ever. EVER!

Is it because I wear more eyeliner than them girls or that I have this thick eyeglasses than magnifies my tears 1090968x as the usual? It hurts!

The world is against me and I will cut myself tonight again but not too much so that I’ll live and people will know how sad my life is and will pity me. Aaagh… f*ck romance! *slits wrists*

- xxEmoBoi78xx

Dear xxEmoBoi78xx,

You make me proud. Just keep on hating yourself, the world, and all other crap out there. If you work hard enough, they’ll pity you, I’m sure. What they’ll do with a loser like you I’m not sure. But I’m sure that you’ll get a mighty fine scar on your wrists that’ll scream “NUTCASE”. That’s gonna be a fine trophy to carry for the rest of your life.

***

Dear DtH,

Why oh why is the world cruel? I mean, my girlfriend left me for another guy. It’s all her fault. She’s a liar. I mean, it’s her damn fault why I had three other girlfriends.

I know she just wants me to die, but I’ll beat her to it!

Killing me, of course.

In fact, I’ve been cutting myself all week just to prove it. Now I have to write a song to provide me an outlet for my pain!

- hurting_insyde

Dear hurting_insyde,

Have you ever considered using this to cover up your scars? It’s totally perfect. And yeah, blame everything that happens to your life on everyone else. That would be perfect, because your conscience would be clean. Wear black though. It would be the perfect indicator of your conscience’s purity.

Oh, are you crying now?

Sissy.

___

View Part One Here.

—
Got problems? Really? So do I. You may email me your emo-ness, though, at: noisynoisyman [at] gmail [dot] com

DtH

Get a Trackback link

24 Comments

Euri said on April 13, 2006: Quote

Euri said on April 13, 2006:

Wear black though. It would be the perfect indicator of your conscience’s purity.

Ehehe.. ;)

[Reply]
Poldo said on April 13, 2006: Quote

I like the blame it on someone else part and this column is starting to get serious…’love it!

[Reply]
Talamasca said on April 13, 2006: Quote

Emo pads to cover up scars??? Such lovely invention. Haha!

[Reply]
rob said on April 13, 2006: Quote

uhm, where do I order these emo pads? i’m so hurting insyde too! bleargh! ;)

[Reply]
April Zara said on April 14, 2006: Quote

Real funny, Ade! Heey~ how can I get those cute little avatars that appear whenever someone makes a comment? I WANT ONE!!! Hahaha.

[Reply]
Steel said on April 14, 2006: Quote

Emo pads…I’ve been looking for those my entire life! Sweet!

Thanks DtH!

[Reply]
jhay said on April 14, 2006: Quote

May emo pads na rin pala. Akala ko hanggang pagtakip lang ng mga tsikinini ang meron. hekhekhek

[Reply]
yen said on April 15, 2006: Quote

puro dear dth na lang entry mo nakakatuwa pa.. aside shmpre sa stalker mo ah haha…

[Reply]
Rain said on April 15, 2006: Quote

Cutting yourself just because a girl left you is stupid.

[Reply]
aby said on April 15, 2006: Quote

that was good!

[Reply]
ade said on April 15, 2006: Quote

[Comment ID #686 Will Be Quoted Here]

they are available at your friendly sari-sari store.

[Comment ID #688 Will Be Quoted Here]

Emo Pads should pay me for advertising their stuff.

[Comment ID #690 Will Be Quoted Here]

I wonder what’ll they come up with next?

[Comment ID #693 Will Be Quoted Here]

huh?

[Comment ID #695 Will Be Quoted Here]

Exactly. That’s why I have an advice column for them emos.

[Reply]
sweetskittles said on April 15, 2006: Quote

Dear DtH,
I hate you for hating emo! Die! Die!
I’d love to see your wrists bleed. When you’re finally suicidal, call me I’d slash them for you!

…of course, I’m just kidding.

Sweetskittles

[Reply]
aaron said on April 15, 2006: Quote

what’re emo pads anyway? lol

[Reply]
aaron said on April 15, 2006: Quote

oh wait. the thing in the picture’s a guy? wtf

[Reply]
Laarni said on April 16, 2006: Quote

[Comment ID #702 Will Be Quoted Here]
oo nga noh? gay? hhahaha.

[Reply]
skwayred said on April 16, 2006: Quote

I remember my emo friend. She tried to cut her wrist too many times for me to count. Brrr, the marks, I cannot bear to look at them. Maybe I’ll suggest your site to her. Haha! :>

[Reply]
Marz said on April 16, 2006: Quote

Emo Pads. Haha. I know some people who need that.

[Reply]
aaron said on April 16, 2006: Quote

i should google emo pads. -_-

[Reply]
aaron said on April 16, 2006: Quote

okay, to no avail. di ko pa rin alam ang emo pad.

[Reply]
ade said on April 17, 2006: Quote

[Comment ID #708 Will Be Quoted Here]

Emo pads are… just something for emos. Nothing more. :P

[Reply]
ie said on April 17, 2006: Quote

dth or no dth, you kinda are good in giving advices. thanks.

and yes, i was emo. and i was bleeding. ha! :]

[Reply]
ade said on April 18, 2006: Quote

[Comment ID #711 Will Be Quoted Here]

Get yourself an emopad! Quick!!!

[Reply]
hera said on April 19, 2006: Quote

this post reminds me of a batchmate in high school who used to go around telling the whole school that she slashed herself and then came to class one day with band aid on her wrists. when her friends lifted up the band aid– ngek!! wala namang sugat!?

now that is more pathetic than puny emo-ness. hehe.

[Reply]
Dan said on April 20, 2006: Quote

That’s hilarious. Lots of people cut their wrists, even for non-emo reason. Some think it’s cool. My sister’s 16-year-old classmates do it thinking it makes them look cool and I can’t help but laugh my ass off. According to one Oprah episode (shoot me for watching it. haha), 50% of women who cut their wrists have been molested as kids. Now that doesn’t really sound cool, does it? LOL.

[Reply]