The Return of the Stalker

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As you may know, a very insistent person had been calling me a few months back, and was pestering me so much that I felt it appropriate to write a sincere and heartfelt letter to her/him/it/whatever. Well, my so-caller stalker stopped pestering me days after I posted the letter, which is a good sign that he/she/it/whatever got the message. And gave up.

How was I supposed to know that it’s gonna be the beginning of an even creepier incident?

Before I start to tell my story, let me assure you all that I’m not homophobic or antisocial or anything. But of course I value my privacy as much as you all do. I have no qualms about making new friends, in fact I enjoy meeting new people, but I’d rather meet them personally or through the internet. If I meet them personally, I’d know them right away and see if that person is a nutcase or something. If I meet them through the web, I could scrutinize the person through a filter before trusting them with my contact details. A person calling me out of nowhere and asking to be her friend/boyfriend/textmate isn’t really giving me an incentive to trust her. Cellphone “friend finders” aren’t really my thing, and it’s too close for comfort for me.

Last night, I was sleeping peacefully when my phone rang. Since I was too sleepy to check the caller ID, I just answered the call. I thought it was my girlfriend or my boss. Well, it was 12:30 am, and nobody in his right mind would disturb anyone unless it was important. Imagine my surprise when a man was on the other end. He only said hello, and did not talk.

Of course, I did the only sensible thing: hang up.

Then he texted me.

“Why did you hang up? Am I disturbing you?”

Oh, not really, I thought. It’s just that you are intruding on my precious sleeping time, and I just got back from my girlfriend’s house, which is a good three hours away from my home. So I’m dead tired. I need to sleep.

But naturally, I didn’t answer.

The he called again.

In my desire to get back to sleep, I answered the phone and screamed: “I’m not interested!” Then I hung up again.

He texted me again:

“Is this Michael? Coz a friend gave me your number and said that you are Michael. If not, I am sorry to disturb you.”

Sigh. Talk about a pathetic excuse. Case solved. Now can I get some sleep, jerk? Find your “Michael” somewhere else.

The he texted again.

“If you are not Michael, may you give me your name?”

Holy nuclear crap! What?!

Hoping that no response would send the weirdo a clue, I ignored him. Then my phone beeped again.

“It seems to me that you are SUPLADO (snob)! FYI, that is my ideal man. I like suplados. Just give me a sign that you are not. Even a smiley message would do. :)”

He actually thinks that I’m flirting?! What. The. Friggin’. Hell?!

Another beep.

“I’m waiting…”

Whatever. I’ll just ignore the damn phone and get back to sleep.

Then after a few minutes of quiet, the phone rang again. This time, I was too creeped out that I immediately rejected the call. Then he called again. I rejected it again. Call. Reject. Repeat the cycle twice.

Finally, I did the thing that I should’ve done ages ago: I turned my phone off.

But since I was expecting a call from my girlfriend when she wakes up, I turned it on again 30 minutes later. And at last… GOLDEN SILENCE! Finally satisfied that the creep has finally lost interest, I went to sleep.

I woke up late today, and the first thing I did was check my phone. I saw 3 missed calls, and I thought: “My girlfriend called me thrice and I wasn’t able to wake up and answer!”

It wasn’t her. Guess who called?

The next time the loser calls me, I’m gonna plaster his phone number everywhere. As in EVERYWHERE. I’m gonna post it on buses, bathroom walls, phone booths, waiting sheds, and many other high-visibility areas. And I’ll label the jerk’s number with a solicitation for phone sex.

Thinking about it, I may be actually sending the @$$#013 to paradise, but then, there’s a slight chance a totally unhinged serial murderer who idolizes Hannibal Lecter might get ahold of his number. Oh, joy.

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52 Comments

  1. Michele says:

    Grabe yan, ha. A gay stalker. Anyway, bago nanaman design mo, Ade. I think I like the old one.

  2. Robbie says:

    hmmm…. comment comment comment!!

  3. Robbie says:

    Ooh nice I can comment again. Geez man that was creepy.

    Actually i am the one calling you. Haha. Seriously though… maybe some guys or friends are just playing with you. :P I used to get messages like “I wanna be your gf/bf” from unknown numbers and asking me to do naughty acts with them.

    Sheesh… some people…

  4. Talamasca says:

    Mon Dieu! That’s just way too scary.

    Piece of advice: Just ignore the freakazoid. Eventually he will back off. Why? Because something like that occured to me. They called, they texted like there’s no tomorrow. What the hell did I do to ward them off? I just treated them like some sh*t we see along the dirty streets of squatter areas. Hopefully, they won’t be back to haunt me. But there’s always a possibility that they will return, like what happened to you. So be prepared and the next time they attack, make it a point to put the word payback to your vocab.

    Praying here that you will regain your peace of mind. Hehe. :-)

    Oh, do you wanna link exhange? Holler back okay!?

  5. Roan says:

    what the… well, better spread his number right away! you just don’t know how much i want to burn stalkers =))

  6. melai says:

    why don’t u change number na lang?
    para hindi ka na
    nagrereklamo sa mga readers mo
    lol!

  7. j says:

    Maybe he got your number from a bus or some other high-visibility area. Hehe.

    These are the times when phones with blocking features come in handy. You’ll only get to see the messages and the calls of the blocked caller if you look in the special folder of the phone. Pretty much like a spambox in email.

    Hopefully he gets tired of your non response and quits it. Good luck! :)

  8. Steel says:

    Come on man! Can’t you take a joke? That was no stalker, that was just ME!

    Seriously, how come almost all of you have their fair share of stalkers and stalking experiences? And I have none? I might need to crawl out of this cave I call home and socialize. Care to post my number at the back of a bus seat? I can also throw in my home address!

  9. Sarah says:

    sino nasa picture?

    Hahahah! Natawa talaga ako sa mga ganitong kwento. Kung sino man yung baklang yun, nako, desperado ata sya!! Hahahaha!!! Tapos sasabihin pa.. I like SUPLADO.. tapos he’s tricking you to text him back. Hahaha, Even a smiley face, daw! Hahahhaa! Mokong yun ah! Crush ka! Baka officemate mo? Hahahhaha!!!!

  10. jher says:

    ignore. ignore. ignore. if he persists, report the number to the phone service provider. then to ntc. matrabaho i know. then if it doesnt work, then spread his number as you planned. but ang ilagay mo naghahanap sya ng sex with a girl. eh di ba lalake hanap nya? sya naman ang mandidiri. lol

  11. cyberpunk says:

    hahaha, what a funny story…kung ako sayo, I’ll stalk him back lol. get a dummy SIM and “befriend” him…i-meet mo kuno somewhere para lang makita kung ano itsura nya (pero syempre wag mo lapitan), picture-an mo then post mo dito para makita nating lahat hehehe…

  12. Ade is a magnet for weirdos and psychopaths. (One wonders if that statement includes the people who comment on his blog. :p )

  13. Hey! That picture is familiar; I saw it on the uncyclopedia article on the Philippines!

  14. jhay says:

    Freaky, just freaky. What’s more freakier is that the same thing is happening to right now. Almost a week ago, an unfamiliar number texted me, from the message it was obvious that the sender got the wrong number and that it was a girl. Lucky me?

    I did the decent thing, which I now regret, and replied that I do not know her, and that she got the wrong number.

    She texted me again, doubting my first reply and insisting that I was her bf. Again I replied no, she was mistaken and said my goodbyes.

    Later that night she texted again, this time proposing that we do something very naughty on the phone. I panicked because my friends were with me and they have a habit of grabbing my phone and reading its messages, if they read that girl’s message, I’m doomed. The guys would tell on me asap.

    I erased it quickly and ignored her messages, and calls. It has been over a week, and I’m starting to really get ticked off!

    See ade, di ka nag-iisa. :D

  15. Blacks are not colored…

    I got this via an e-mail from Mr Peter Lavina, it’s a wake-up call to all white men out there.
    This poem was written by an  African kid.
    “When I born, I Black,
    When I grow up, I Black,
    When I go in Sun, I Black,
    When I scared, I Black,
    Whe….

  16. Steel says:

    [Comment ID #657 Will Be Quoted Here]
    With all due respect that (thing) girl on the above pic is my ex-girlfriend. Unfortunately it didnt work out for the both of us so I had to beat her into a pulp which resulted to what you’re seeing in the picture right now.

  17. ade says:

    [Comment ID #644 Will Be Quoted Here]

    So do I, but I had readability issues with the old one. And people aren’t using this template that much.

    [Comment ID #646 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Really creepy people shouldn’t be given a cellphone.

    [Comment ID #647 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Linked yah already!

    [Comment ID #649 Will Be Quoted Here]

    And have nothing to blog about? no way!

    [Comment ID #650 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Thanks!

    [Comment ID #651 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Dude, I’d give you all my stalkers, anytime.

    [Comment ID #653 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Good idea! Will set that scheme into action.

    [Comment ID #652 Will Be Quoted Here]

    I have no idea who that is. Some people can be desperate, no? Scary world…

    [Comment ID #654 Will Be Quoted Here]

    i’d rather not, thank you.

    [Comment ID #656 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Shhhhh!!!

    [Comment ID #658 Will Be Quoted Here]

    ONGWTFBBQ!!! WHAT?!?!?!

    [Comment ID #660 Will Be Quoted Here]

    I’m guessing that he/she/it/whatever is ugly even BEFORE you took your rage on he/she/it/whatever.

  18. poldo says:

    lapitin ka siguro ng bakla tulad ko. ahihihihi

  19. Jee says:

    Go to a public phone after midnight and call that fellow.. revenge revenge lol

  20. melai says:

    lol! e yan naman pala gusto mo e di magtyaga ka :)

  21. nadine says:

    is that ur stalker on the pic? he’s kind of cute if you ask me! hahahaha!
    it’s a good thing you ignored him/her/it. he/she/it will someday get tired of pestering you! Good luck!

    by the way i already got an update on my blog see yah!

  22. kars says:

    i guess you must change your number. or isa-isahin mo ang kaibigan mo kung sino ng forward ng number sa kanya?

  23. Laarni says:

    but no, dont change your number. i wanna know more stalk stories. hehehe. take care, ade.

  24. Laarni says:

    oh btw, i have a not quite new plugin just clickie. :p

  25. Laarni says:

    lol im spamming, the plugin is called, “edit n place”

  26. sarah says:

    hmm.. cellphone companies should start creating anti-spam functions eh? but seriously, the stalker’s persistence is scary.

  27. skwayred says:

    Stalkers, creepy. I received a call one time from an unknown number and tada, it was a guy. After admitting that he called the wrong number, he asked for my name. Like, duh. What a lame-ass trick. Well at least after that, he didn’t bother me anymore.

    Hmm, could be someone you know, you know? :p

  28. Laarni says:

    y’know what? gravatar is f3cked up at the moment, i think. :P

  29. Talamasca says:

    Thanks for linking. :-)

    So have you finally straightened things out with this stalker of yours???

  30. Marz says:

    ano ba yan! nakakasar talaga ang mga stalker, lalo na kung gay at nakikipagflirt.

  31. jey says:

    oh my God.. haha.. grabe naman yun.. istorbo pa..

    wala lang magawa yan..

    yes, im back!!! ;o)

  32. annabanana says:

    ade,
    well ganoon talaga ang sikat ang daming tagahanga! :D i hope youll get rid of him soon! patience my dear man, minsan kasi kapag alam nilang naasar ka they’ll do it more. ignore na lang, magsasawa din yan

  33. yen says:

    hndi kaya iisa ang stalker mo at midnight caller ko hahaha… pucha ako dn naka off n ang phone ko pg ma22log n ko at pag gising ko ng umaga at pag on ng fone ko makakarecv n lng ako ng msg na may missed calls ako from that bastard… pro at least hndi n ko nagi2sing, i dont have to worry na may tatawag skn kc wala namang akong bf hehe.

  34. karla says:

    the comeback of the stalker
    bwahahahaha
    beware :p
    di lang ikaw ang may stalker ade hehe
    don’t worry :p
    i didn’t know you’re a magnet bwahahaha :D

  35. that’s some freak. chill, he’s probably just lonely! give that homo some lovin’ – who knows you might like him after all haha! haha! (imagine my evil laugh)

  36. jong says:

    ako yong nagbigay ng number mo.. nyahaha

    may tumatawag din sakin umagang umaga lalake rin. kainis. txt ng txt. hay. buti ngayon wala na..

    ingat ka dude.. baka ka marape hehe… joke!

    im back!

  37. ade says:

    [Comment ID #706 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Hmmm hindi kaya iisa lang ang stalker natin? Hahahaha!!!

  38. mushy says:

    same thing happened to my ex.. he gave me the number and i harrassed the gay guy. lol. not that im proud of it.. i juz dont like people bothering me or my bf at that time.. i even told the prick that id be watching his eevery move, i know where he works, where he lives, etc.. but i actually got all of those from reliable friendster.. then when he dint stop pestering my guy, i bombarded him with a hundred or so texts.. i think after that he actually got the idea..

  39. benj says:

    When I was a college freshman, no less than six people told me via ym that they got my y! id from the restroom walls in school. WTF?

    My Yahoo ID is kilometric (about 20 characters) and not that easy to remember. I wonder who did that? Grrr…

    I had a female stalker/caller who often called me at my house in Batangas. That was 2 years ago. Must be a classmate playing a trick on me… I dunno.

    • ginny says:

      isa ka pa! masama siguro ugali mo kaya pinagkakalat YM id mo. O di kaya ubod ka ng landi sa mga babae at pinaguusapan ka na nilang landiin at lokohin. And feeling nitoh!

  40. [...] FUCK!When I finally get a stalker, instead of leaping up and down in joy, I get freaked out. And I am seriously contemplating spending the rest of my life in a foxhole.I mean, a hot woman could stalk me. Why does my stalker have to be gay?Life is unfair.Full story here. [...]

  41. [...] I’ve been plagiarized! I’ve been plagiarized! Look! And compare! [...]

  42. [...] at 4:08 PMOh yeah. You so did not steal this article from my blog. You know, from this article: http://blog.ademagnaye.com/2006/04/09/the-return-of-the-stalker/ replychesterika wrote today at 4:09 PMhey i know this blog entry…ADEz!!!!!! replyadez23 wrote [...]

  43. [...] me. Just lookit this: http://noplacetohide.multiply.com/journal/item/1And compare it to this: http://blog.ademagnaye.com/2006/04/09/the-return-of-the-stalker/ Prev: The 2007 Man Blog Alcohol Celebraganzasreply shareView replies:Chronological   Reverse [...]

  44. [...] Aw crap. Most probably some faggot looking for phone sex. I tell you, it’s not the last time you’ll hear from him. [...]

  45. ginny says:

    just face the fact that there are a lot of gay men out there who are on the lookout for fun and sheer pleasure (read: SEXXXX!!)

    number 1: di ka naman kagwapuhan! you are not the type that gays would want to take to bed. i know that bec i have a lot of gay friends who love to stalk hot men!

    number 2: baka naman masama or panget ugali mo. That’s why your number has become public and people annoy you all the time. Check sulit.com.ph or olx.com.ph at baka naka post ang number mo dun kaya kumakalat.

    number 3: napaka assuming mo naman. Not bec someone dialled your number and wastes their time annoying you, means that they want you badly. There are too many bored people out there who need to get a life that’s why they pester even those they don’t personally know.

    number 4: di ka talaga kagwapuhan! Honest lang ako! :)

  46. frances says:

    Whoa! Bakit parang apektado sya sa post mo, Ade?



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