Archive | March, 2006

Down the Highway: An Advice Column for Emos

23 Mar

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This entry is part 1 of 12 in the series Down The Highway

Dear DtH:

emoMe and my girlfriend of two weeks have fallen apart. She’s seeing somebody else now. And I’m stuck here in my room, bawling my eyes out. Whatever shall I do?

- Lost Soul

 

Dear Lost Soul:

I suggest that you go back to your room and bawl some more. Then you can write poetry. Make sure that all your poems have the words "painful" , "sad", "lost", and other synonyms on them. Then you can form a band with your friends who are just as miserable as you. Make sure your guitarists know only three chords. You can get an awesome drummer, but you have to waste his talents by giving him songs with no variations at all. You guys can turn your poems into songs. Then you guys will become rich and famous, get drunk and stoned every night and all that stuff.

But you still don’t have a girlfriend. And you NEVER will.

Loser.

(more…)

Don’t shoot the puppy!

23 Mar

Don’t shoot the puppy!!! [via Boing Boing]

Some Updates

23 Mar

As my blog has been heavily spammed and my bandwidth dangerously teethering on the borderline this month,  I am implementing these changes. I’m not imposing rules or anything, I’m just informing you.

  • Spam Karma 2 is now activated on my blog deactivated because it’s not working. So if you have any problems commenting on my entries, you can contact me.
  • Heavy images are now hosted on Flickr.
  • I am now using FeedBurner for my RSS/Atom feeds to save on feed bandwidth. You can still use my old feeds, but you will now be redirected to my FeedBurner so you don’t need to change anything on your aggregators.
  • Permalink Structure on my blog has been changed for FeedBurner to work. Please be guided accordingly.
  • Links within comments will now go through Google Redirection so spammer losers can’t steal my already abysmal PageRank.
  • Smileys are also disabled in a pathetic attempt to save on bandwidth.
  • NEVER HOTLINK any image hosted on my site. If you ever attempt to do so, you will get an, erm, pleasant surprise.
  • If you didn’t understand anything I said, chances are you don’t need to.

Some other announcements:

  • I tried very hard to implement AJAX on my blog without resorting to installing K2, because I like my template and K2 for me is, well, a cop out. Nonetheless, I failed.
  • But I did manage to AJAXify my searchbar! Check it out!
  • I’m a geek. And I’m bored. And I’m suffering from blogger’s block. And my knees are itchy.
  • I have a new pet. His name is Silver, my loyal paperclip. I’m gonna miss Rocky the paperweight. :(
  • Also, Dan Brown looks like a pedophile. [Thanks, Adam Mordo!]

I’m off to work now. Expect a new post within the day. Thank you.

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NO TO CYBER-DATING

22 Mar

This is why you should never, ever, date anyone on the internet.

Snakes on a plane.

21 Mar

Best movie ever: Snakes on a plane. [via Pau of the Man Blog]

I Love Pasta. But not that much.

20 Mar

I love pasta. Me and my girlfriend make it a point to always eat at Pizza Hut Bistro because we just plain love pasta.

I especially love it when pasta is served plain, without Banana Catsup, hotdogs and stuff.

So imagine my surprise when I found out that an entire religion is dedicated to worshipping pasta.

OMFG. (Oh My Fettucine God)

This religion, in my opinion, is totally absurd and out there. Naturally, I decided to check it out. 

Accordng to the Pastafarians, the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster ("Him") who started creation with a mountain, some trees, and a “midgit”.

And the Flying Spaghetti Monster is pleased by acts of piracy and smuggling, so dressing up like a pirate is encouraged (You may snort cola out of your nose now).

I imagine, is there a Pastafarianism chapter here? I would love to attend one of their worship meetings. We’d genuflect and stuff.

According to this Uncyclopedia page, the genuflection is done in these easy steps:

  • Bow the head
  • Close the eyes
  • Place the palms of the hands firmly over the ears.
  • Sing "Lalalalalalalala!" in loud monotone until hoarse.  

(more…)

Tampon Art?

19 Mar

Creepiest website I have ever seen. [Thanks, Roan!]

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